2nd Opinion after non diagnosis

Hi dantheman1983

It might help to have a look at the inforamtion in the "Assessment results and report" section of this page for some tips: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/assessment-and-diagnosis/what-happens-during-an-autism-assessment

Sharon Mod

Being aware of it might help save you from some of the worst parts - like giving yourself grace and realising when you might meltdown. So you do suffer and are impacted but have found ways to cope. It doesn't make living ND in a NT world any easier for you, your just shouldering more yourself.

I am currently trying to get a diagnosis, but keep flipping on how I might feel if I get one. In some respects I think I can cope, but then this year with increased work responsibilities I suddenly hit a wall at 41. Be aware this could still happen too, just because you haven't yet found it disabling, doesn't mean you won't in the future! :/

You could always set up a savings account for it, put away something incase you get to the point when having the diagnosis matters, then do the paper work suggested so you can come in with strong evidence.

I would say, 100% get a second opinion. I wasn't happy with how a team did my first. Apparently I wasn't autistic because I 'engaged well' and was good at creating fiction. They didn't delve into my troubled employment history and disregarded many other details. A second pathway with a one to one psychiatrist and a very different assessment confirmed my diagnosis.

Keep going and find another provider if having the official diagnosis supports you.

I think I was around 70% on the online tests, so I guess on the threshold.

That makes a lot of sense what you say about being disabled by it. Having too many people diagnosed officially could water down what it really means to struggle with ASD and maybe affect those who need help and understanding the most.   

On surface to most people I've been fairly successful and in contrast even though he is still young my son is most definitely going to be hampered more as an adult than I am, his issues with communication and understanding situations are clear as day.  My dad is so similar to him, we are all from different era's and upbringings (Dad- old fashioned. / Me - difficult / Son - modern and molly coddled!) so that I guess comes in to play. .  

"At the end of the day the diagnosis is fairly irrelevant - what is important is knowing you are on the spectrum and you can then look for ways to help deal with the issues you have in light of this."

This really resonates with me actually when talking with my wife last night, looking for ways to cope with issues that affect me like lack of resilience, noise sensory, change etc are more important getting a label from a professional.

Thanks and thank you to everyone on here for the great advice

I was thinking would having it in writing help work but in reality, it probably wouldn't.  I think my wife thinks I could just end up spending money just to get more or less the same answer

Yes that makes sense

thank you

If I remember rightly, I think it says you have to have problems in multiple domains, meaning work, personal life, relationships, etc.

Being in employment is not necessarily a problem. I've been employed most of the time. Of 37 years I've been employed for almost 34 of them.

But, I did get redundanted a few times due to misunderstandings, I missed out on something due to crossed wires, and my career went a bit wrong due to burnout. I earned more than the PM for a few years, but took home £0 in one year.

dantheman1983 said:

Is it worth getting a second opinion in case the assessment didn't uncover everything? 

Personally I would try a bunch of the online autism tests to see if I scored significantly above the threshold for a diagnosis.

Remember that the diagnosis is given only when you are autisitc enough to be disabled by it. You can have lots of autistic traits but not reach the threshold but this does not mean you are not on the spectrum.

The point set for the diagnosis is a fairly fixed point and if it was a case of you have to score 70% or higher to be diagnised then those at 69% would feel a bit short changed. It is just a reflection that the system is not as flexible as it should be.

Should you do this and score above the threshold and decide to try for another assessment then I would recommend looking at the list of autistic traits, list all the ones you have and give examples of how they affect you and take this with you to the next assessment along with your test results from the online tests.

Not all assessors are equal so there can be human error or bias involved, but by taking your evidence with you you avoid giving incomplete information and are more likely to be convince them, especially as we often clam up or mask when under stress.

At the end of the day the diagnosis is fairly irrelevant - what is important is knowing you are on the spectrum and you can then look for ways to help deal with the issues you have in light of this.

That does sound like an unsatisfactory reason, is that meant to be the struggling criteria you might not have initially provided enough evidence on? (I imagine it feels unfair, as autistic people can have jobs!)  Your brain is your brain, so even without the paperwork, being able to identify how you think it's still important for understanding yourself, especially if you feel it relates to your experiences in life and family! 

I suppose it comes down to if you need it in writing? I have seen posts on people getting second and third options, but not on the cost!

I can't advise regarding a second opinion, and I've not had a first one as I decided not to pursue a formal diagnosis because it wouldn't change anything for me. But I know that it helps some.

Just wanted to reassure you that whether you get a formal diagnosis or not, you're still welcome here.