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Everything changing at work post diagnosis

LoneYeti

I had a bad mental health spiral a couple of years ago at age 31 due to feeling like my life was disappearing and not knowing what I was wrong or why couldn’t do things. I had a couple of people at work I felt I had made friends with who I could confide in and ended up telling them things were getting bad, and I was have suicidal thoughts. I got signed off from work and started therapy (still doing this now) which kick started the process resulting in me getting diagnosed with autism this Summer just gone.

The diagnosis triggered a bad mental health episode, and it turns out the people I had been confiding in couldn’t cope with me anymore and my line manager changed. It feels like I’ve been locked out of being able to talk to my ‘autistic allies’ and my new line manager is doing things like telling me not to look out of windows during meetings and picking up on things I’m saying in group chats. None of my previous managers have ever said things like this before and work is getting really stressful as a result. 

It feels like my life is falling apart and I have no hope for the future Frowning2 My job was the only thing going for me as I thought I had found something I could do and I had made my own reasonable adjustments before I new what those were. But now I’ve ruined that and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking about moving jobs or going back to university. Has anyone ever gone through anything like this before?

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  • LoneYeti said:
    The diagnosis triggered a bad mental health episode,

    Reading between the lines here, has your behaviour at work changed since your episode?

    I get the impression that your shift in behaviour combined with the disclosure has led to your colleagues and manager looking as being a problem, someone with a mnetal health issue that they probably don't understand and are a bit wary of.

    LoneYeti said:
    None of my previous managers have ever said things like this before

    Since it is a new manager then it is probably a case of they do things differently to what you are used to. Have you sat down in private with them to discuss what your diagnosis means? That it is a disability and thus covered by discrimination law? Do HR know?

    My advice would be to make sure your diagnosis is disclosed to both HR and your manager and that you conside what the Reasonable Adjustments are that you need to be able to do your job effectively.

    Note that companies are not obliged to implement these is they do not consider them reasonable so there may be a bit of negotiating requited. I base this off my own experiences and those of others who have posted here over the years in a similar situation to yourself.

    LoneYeti said:
    I got signed off from work and started therapy

    Does your therapist have a good record of helping other autists? You probably need this in order to make real progress as our needs are more complex than most therapists are trained to handle and most approaches (CBT for example) typically are ineffective without being significantly adapted.

    I had a similar alienation from my colleagues when I disclosed my diagnosis - some took an active dislike to me, some were scared and most of the rest didn't know much about autism so just kept their distance as I was now an unknown quantity with mental health problems to them.

    If you need a social element in life then I suggest finding it outside of work - the workplace seems inherently hostile for the majority of us and is a big contributer to the fact only 20-30% of autists are in full time employment.

  • in reply to Iain
    Iain said:
    Does your therapist have a good record of helping other autists? You probably need this in order to make real progress as our needs are more complex than most therapists are trained to handle and most approaches (CBT for example) typically are ineffective without being significantly adapted.

    She isn't specifically trained but I like her so I'm reluctant to get rid as she is providing a stabilising force at the moment.  

    Iain said:
    If you need a social element in life then I suggest finding it outside of work - the workplace seems inherently hostile for the majority of us and is a big contributer to the fact only 20-30% of autists are in full time employment.

    Yeah I'm finding this out the hard way :( My autism mainly manifested in a way where people see me as just being really quiet and avoiding of manager type rolls, eg just wanting to get on with the work (dunno if I mentioned it but I'm a programmer). 

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  • in reply to Iain
    Iain said:
    Does your therapist have a good record of helping other autists? You probably need this in order to make real progress as our needs are more complex than most therapists are trained to handle and most approaches (CBT for example) typically are ineffective without being significantly adapted.

    She isn't specifically trained but I like her so I'm reluctant to get rid as she is providing a stabilising force at the moment.  

    Iain said:
    If you need a social element in life then I suggest finding it outside of work - the workplace seems inherently hostile for the majority of us and is a big contributer to the fact only 20-30% of autists are in full time employment.

    Yeah I'm finding this out the hard way :( My autism mainly manifested in a way where people see me as just being really quiet and avoiding of manager type rolls, eg just wanting to get on with the work (dunno if I mentioned it but I'm a programmer). 

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