So it is Sunday night and once again, I am sitting here dreading going back to work tomorrow. A fair amount of the time when I am not at work, I end up worrying about being there. I can't keep my worries away from me.
It's not so much the work. It is the people and how they treat me. So my question is how to keep working even when your colleagues and line-manager treat you unkindly. They judge me by being different and treat me differently to each other. It is really hard to cope with and I am very unhappy there most of the time.
I have got in a place when I am strongly worried that it is me. That even if I go somewhere else, the same problems will just follow me there. I know that I don't do the chatting that they do, but I'd just like to be accepted as being different. When in fact, I just feel defective.
I could list the instances which have upset me: the gaslighting, the being left out, the being treated with contempt, the not being listened too. I am so trying to be a 'good' team player. But it feels like they just find me irritating and would much prefer if I wasn't even there at all.
I feel kinda helpless and hopeless. Any advice gratefully received.
