Failed by Society

Hello. my name is Danielle and I am a 34 year old awaiting an official diagnosis of Autism and also in the process of having a referral done for ADHD. 

That's about all the small talk I will allow, now on to the main topic now that I have officially introduced myself to the community. 

I see the world moving so far in some ways like technology, bigger companies and buildings ect. The world is moving at a fast growing rate in materialistic ways but I feel we are back tracking in our humanity and at an emotional level as a Society.

From my experience those with Autism or any other mental condition that differs from societies normal have been excluded, pushed to the outskirts of society due to our world leaders being so behind in understanding that we are different and have built the world around the majority and typical-brain while excluding those with a neuro-brain. I understand the world is trying to catch up, companies have been rolling out training, programmes to engage and get those with mental conditions or disabilities back into work and society but there just isn't enough support and hasn't the damage already been done?

What about those that have already been excluded and ostracised in their environments for simply daring to be their unique selves, standing up for social justice and their own truth.

I have faced such ostracising tactics more than once for simply being who I am and at an extreme level once my social justice radar went off. I probably stayed in an environment longer than I should because I wanted to give a person or group better understanding of the struggles I face, holding onto hope that by speaking my truth I could help or prevent someone else from suffering the same situation.

What I've learned so far; some people want to understand and to help but not everyone has the power to make that change on a big scale. 

Everything has to be passed on up to the person(s) with more power to make change and policies and while these leaders delay on real change many around the world are suffering more than they can ever understand. 

Is it any surprise many of us choose to withdraw from this society.

For me I was always introverted but I tried to fit into the world at the expense of the suffering of my mental, emotional and physical well-being.

The system has failed me in my adult life so now I have started to slowly become a selective recluse. 

Why would I choose to attempt to fit into this Society again? 

When I see real world change then I shall consider it... until then I will keep speaking my truth in anyway I can.

My purpose for joining this community and post is to hopefully find any like-minded folks on my vibe level, while also interacting with others to share my knowledge but also to gain further insight into others life experience. 

I consider myself a student of life.

There's always more to learn.

Shine Bright all.

Parents
  • The system has failed me in my adult life so now I have started to slowly become a selective recluse. 

    Why would I choose to attempt to fit into this Society again?

    Addressing the second point first - why should you try to fit into the society? What is in it for you? Just because everyone else is doing it (the 97+% of people who are not autistic) doesn't mean you need to, so there is an element of choice here.

    For the things you cannot avoid - benefits, shopping, healthcare - you can limit these as much as you can and develop ways of coping with them better so they have less of an impact. In essence you can choose your own levels of exposure in many of these.

    For the first point, it helps to think if it is societies responsibility to make itself accessible for absolutely everyone. Should it accommodate and welcome every special needs case? How about the physically disabled, the mute, those with violent tendencies, the criminally insane etc? 

    When you look at the extremes of the scale you start to realise that society can only be so flexible and there are limits which are not really managable for it, and we tend to fall in one of the difficult edges of this (especially because we all have different needs).

    With this in mind it makes a lot more sense for us to take personal responsibility to learn ways to ease the interactions with society to get what we want from it. It needs to be a two way street and unfortunately in these early days of autism awareness the onus will be on us still to adapt to society and help inform it on what we need.

    This also gets us out of the victim mentality where we feel we are the oppressed - we can take back some control and in doing so make ourselves stronger.

    That would be my take on the subject. Don't expect society to change but be the change yourself.

  • Yes I agree with you on that point. I think I probably tried longer than I should because social justice is very important to me. I thought if I could make people see from my own understanding and experience that I could help bring change within that environment.

    I enjoy my introversion time at home so that's a plus and I still get out into nature and to the shops, which I enjoy the walks there most time.

    I'm not anti-social I've just started becoming very selective now due to experiences I've suffered through beforehand.

    I do understand the scale you're talking about and I can't say what change needs to be done but my opinion is that world leaders have failed a large group of people, who suffer daily living in a world that isn't built for them as it is for non-autistic folks.

    I feel they need to do more and better. 

    Thank you you've given some great advice and gave me some areas to think on. 

    As you mentioned, now after going through an extreme situation of suffering in an environment I now no longer work and I've got to know my weaknesses and strengths better and can now choose how long I expose myself to a certain environment.

    I love your ending about being the change ourselves! 

    The sad truth is that what is done is done... we can't go back and change how society is but I still hold hope one day those in power will put better safeguards in place to make the world more diverse and accepting. 

  • The sad truth is that what is done is done... we can't go back and change how society is

    I always look at is as a banked life experience. I review it (as dispassionately as I can) and learn from it, trying to carry no chip on my shoulder or fear in my heart from it.

    If something similar starts to happen again then I will be better prepared and can hopefully do much better because sure as chips are chips those colleagues aren't likely to be that much better than the ones before.

    Keep a journal as it can be really empowering to look back and see how much you have grown as a result of this approach. It proves you do have the power to be better - better than them and better than you were.

    I've also learned to let go of my issues around social justice. I make an impact where I have opportunity and were I'm able but try to keep it personal in scale (coaching and mentoring autistic teenagers leaving school at the moment plus training the younger staff I employ on my renovation projects).

    It can be surprising how clueless some NTs are about a lot of stuff too - I've had a lot of discusions with my trainees about their life choices and decisions and it is clear they have plenty of areas where they are just as bad as some of us autists, but they are better at sitting back and learning about it.

  • That's a great skill to have. I like to think everyone we meet and all situations we face that there's always a lesson to learn for improved growth. Sometimes I can be too passionate about certain topics but I am learning to look at some things more logically.

    Those with no chip on their shoulders, who are always eager to add to their knowledge and understanding are my type of people. Sometimes we face things in life not because life is cruel but to prepare us for future situations, at least that's what I believe.

    Oh yes I do love to Journal, regarding many topics but I guess joining this community has been a big step for me to put my passions out there and step out of my introverted world a little. One thing I am certain about is I will never let go of my passion about social justice but I am always open to others opinions on the subject.

    I am happy you've found your place where you can make an impact and difference and wish you all the best. I am still waiting to find my place, until then I will keep learning and advancing my knowledge to be prepared.

    In my experience regardless if a person is autistic or not we all lack some knowledge in certain area's that's why I always say I am a student of life because there's always something new to learn to expand your current skill set.

Reply
  • That's a great skill to have. I like to think everyone we meet and all situations we face that there's always a lesson to learn for improved growth. Sometimes I can be too passionate about certain topics but I am learning to look at some things more logically.

    Those with no chip on their shoulders, who are always eager to add to their knowledge and understanding are my type of people. Sometimes we face things in life not because life is cruel but to prepare us for future situations, at least that's what I believe.

    Oh yes I do love to Journal, regarding many topics but I guess joining this community has been a big step for me to put my passions out there and step out of my introverted world a little. One thing I am certain about is I will never let go of my passion about social justice but I am always open to others opinions on the subject.

    I am happy you've found your place where you can make an impact and difference and wish you all the best. I am still waiting to find my place, until then I will keep learning and advancing my knowledge to be prepared.

    In my experience regardless if a person is autistic or not we all lack some knowledge in certain area's that's why I always say I am a student of life because there's always something new to learn to expand your current skill set.

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