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Recent diagnosis, partner doesn't understand.

Kenneth1712

Hi there folks. 

I was recently diagnosed as an adult and my partner of 4 years says I've got worse since my diagnosis.  She rolls her eyes every time I mention it as a reason for something like not listening or picking up what she said (which I've always had a problem with). I'm just realising that all the issues I have ARE autism related but she just thinks it is an excuse for not being empathetic etc.  I'm struggling dealing with things and feel like this is a big deal in my life but she just says nothing has changed but it has.  It doesn't help that I found out my brother has terminal cancer the same day as my diagnosis. I'm currently off work with stress as I'm a bus driver and I struggle with that too and don't think I should be doing it.  It's all just a mess really.  

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  • Kenneth1712 said:
    she just says nothing has changed

    Well, you haven't changed, you've always been autistic. Knowing this can help.you learn more about yourself, but in your relationship you both need to compromise.

    Maybe don't use the A word, agree with her that nothing has changed but point out that there have always been some communication issues and you want to work together to resolve them. Tell her how she can help you, and reassure her that you will try more to listen. Plus remind her of the stress you are feeling due to your brother.

  • in reply to Lotus

    Thanks that is helpful.  I find it hard to talk to her and she gets frustrated.  I just don't know what to say a lot of the time. It's hard. She is the type who likes to talk things through and it just stresses me.  She is also very sensitive so I upset her when I say something in the wrong tone or give a look I don't mean to.  It just comes across bad though I don't feel or think it.  

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  • in reply to Lotus

    Thanks that is helpful.  I find it hard to talk to her and she gets frustrated.  I just don't know what to say a lot of the time. It's hard. She is the type who likes to talk things through and it just stresses me.  She is also very sensitive so I upset her when I say something in the wrong tone or give a look I don't mean to.  It just comes across bad though I don't feel or think it.  

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