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Recent diagnosis, partner doesn't understand.

Kenneth1712

Hi there folks. 

I was recently diagnosed as an adult and my partner of 4 years says I've got worse since my diagnosis.  She rolls her eyes every time I mention it as a reason for something like not listening or picking up what she said (which I've always had a problem with). I'm just realising that all the issues I have ARE autism related but she just thinks it is an excuse for not being empathetic etc.  I'm struggling dealing with things and feel like this is a big deal in my life but she just says nothing has changed but it has.  It doesn't help that I found out my brother has terminal cancer the same day as my diagnosis. I'm currently off work with stress as I'm a bus driver and I struggle with that too and don't think I should be doing it.  It's all just a mess really.  

Parents

  • I'd imagine being a bus driver can be quite a stressful job?

    Maybe your partner is getting frustrated because she knows now that any changes will be limited and that you really can't help how you are. I was so happy when I was diagnosed to be able to tell an ex who was always going on at me about being weird, that there was a medical reason for it, that was not under my control so there! But seriously though you and your partner got together and have been together and loved each other all this time, are the things that initially attracted you to each other still there?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Yes I don't know what she thinks. I guess it could be frustration.  I've always had depression too so that doesn't help.  I've been on antidepressants but came off them six years ago. I was in a controlling relationship then and I was on the strongest dose to cope with anxiety but was just falling asleep all the time.  They didn't help much other than make me feel like a zombie and make me oblivious to being controlled and treated like a servant. Like you I feel validated for how much I struggled back then. 

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Yes I don't know what she thinks. I guess it could be frustration.  I've always had depression too so that doesn't help.  I've been on antidepressants but came off them six years ago. I was in a controlling relationship then and I was on the strongest dose to cope with anxiety but was just falling asleep all the time.  They didn't help much other than make me feel like a zombie and make me oblivious to being controlled and treated like a servant. Like you I feel validated for how much I struggled back then. 

Children
  • in reply to Kenneth1712

    Maybe now you've been diagnosed you may be in a better place to deal with the depression? Maybe seek out some counselling to help you put the pieces of your life together in a way that allows for autism? I used to be a counsellor as well as someone who's recieved lots of counselling, I think being "stuck" theraputically is hard for all, as it often feels like theres something on the tip of the tongue. A diagnosis can be the launch pad for a whole new way of looking at you life, both the past and how you move forward into the future.