Feeling so hurt

I know this feeling well! living with my mother till 29, stayed in my room all the time because if i went down stairs shes just complain about every flaw i had and demean me, and behind my back say things like ( the only thing i taught him was manners ) - like saying it was my own fault i couldn't learn! she never taught me anything other then I'm useless/worthless! 

but i finally got away, had to do it myself! because the NHS didn't care, therapist didn't care they never helped, and i don't trust them, the only thing i ever got from my mother was C-PTSD! ( yeah thanks for that ).

but trust me if you never!!! give up! you will get moved away from it! and then start to recover and be your true self! - i still struggle but i still have HOPE! for a better future not only for myself but for everyone! maybe social prescribing could help you - ask your GP! just keep looking forward! Pain could be your driving force to get away and will lead to healing! but 1 step at a time! might take years! but if less then extra bonus! 

I know this feeling well! living with my mother till 29, stayed in my room all the time because if i went down stairs shes just complain about every flaw i had and demean me, and behind my back say things like ( the only thing i taught him was manners ) - like saying it was my own fault i couldn't learn! she never taught me anything other then I'm useless/worthless! 

but i finally got away, had to do it myself! because the NHS didn't care, therapist didn't care they never helped, and i don't trust them, the only thing i ever got from my mother was C-PTSD! ( yeah thanks for that ).

but trust me if you never!!! give up! you will get moved away from it! and then start to recover and be your true self! - i still struggle but i still have HOPE! for a better future not only for myself but for everyone! maybe social prescribing could help you - ask your GP! just keep looking forward! Pain could be your driving force to get away and will lead to healing! but 1 step at a time! might take years! but if less then extra bonus! 

Thank you for your reply! I’m so sorry to hear about how you also have CPTSD as well. I was always super close with my mum until her sister started tearing us apart. I mean as I’ve said before we lost touch with the toxic ones but the trauma and doubts linger with me. My mum always wanted kids but my dad didn’t and what hurt me the most was he said the only reason why I’m here is because of his so called anti abortion beliefs but he wished he got my mum to go the clinic all those years ago. Sometimes parents just don’t care and I think they only have kids because they feel they “have” to be completely human. 

Im just so glad to be living alone now as I have that freedom but I also have to deal with the traumas and of course the bills and everything. As for the nhs they are just super useless and give you the worst possible “remedies” so they can save money! That’s why I’ve have to pay for a general assessment as you just don’t get that on the nhs, not where I am at least. Also agree with the therapists, they don’t seem to understand or care and they just want the money regardless of going nhs or private. I’m looking into a psychologist and maybe give therapy one last shot as I don’t feel I’ve had very good counsellors but I don’t know.