Worried about being 'unattractive'

I've been posting a lot about this relationship I had until recently- with SG. 

When she broke my heart two weeks ago and broke up with me, it put me in a state of shock and I on top of that had repeated violent asthma attacks. The shock has worn off now, and I am in so much pain now because of her. 

Some things she said to me for months before the breakup were insults about my appearance. She told me "You are objectively less cute and attractive than a horse" to me, and then began pressing me to explain why I was upset by that. She knew how sensitive I am about my appearance. 

In another time, a month before, she said that I am 'average attractiveness'. I was hurt extremely badly by that, but every time I tried to tell her how I felt, she kept getting irritated and one time when we were kayaking she said 'I'm not going to respond to that' angrily. One day later she went back to poking me, trying to make me laugh and doing press handstands in my face. 

Yet another time, I was already struggling with my self-image and discovered that I had dimples. When I asked her about them, she said 'I don't care' with irritation. 

All of this has made me feel like I'm extremely unattractive and I've just been miserable because of this for such a long time. I felt her words were incredibly cruel, but never told her that because I was afraid if I did, she would stop talking to me (Which she later did). 

Parents
  • It sound like you're well shot of her, she sounds cruel and like she was doing it on purpose to upset and hurt you.

    Lots of women like dimples and find them cute.

    It's horrible feeling that you're so unattractive, I've been there so many times, I just about believe that I'm not now I'm in my 60's.

    Please don't let this womans toxicity blight your life and sense of worth, I know it's hard though.

    I sometimes wonder if people like that aren't projecting thier own feelings about themselves onto other people, maybe she feels she's ugly and unattatractive and has projected it onto you?

  • I'm 23 and am very sensitive about my appearance. 

    She did also get called 'average' by her own mother and to be honest a lot of people said that she is not attractive at all (provoking an angry response from me at the time).

    Regardless, she knew what she was doing. She knows how sensitive I am. 

Reply Children
  • I had this one ex who a friend of mine used to call unatracribe and joke about why I was with her I got offended and pushed this friend away and resented her an her boyfriend … turns out said friend had feelings for me and you know what she was right anyway the ex or gf at the time as it was wasn’t nice I don’t mean in look ai mean overall as a person she was nasty 

    but yeah the moral of that story is friend had feelings for me I liked the friend that way tok but I’d pushed the friend away snd ruined a chance of A possible nice relationship for a toxic one(friend was also in a toxic relationship so In the end it was better that we never gave jt a go becuase it would of been a rebound situation anyway and caused us both hurt)

    anyway back on topic of the thread I have felt bad about my appearance for so long that I’ve neglected some of it a *** im doing what I can now but some i cant easily fix but I can get the tatttoos and hair cuts etc and clothes that make me feel better