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Relationships

Hope

 

I was wondering if the people with Asperger's who have managed to settle down, have kids, get married, or simply develop close friendships, could please explain how they managed to achieve these things; despite having severe social problems.

At 26 years old, I am none the wiser as to how to develop friendships, let alone forge relationships. I would love to have kids (a dream of mine since I was small), yet the practicalities of the matter scare me. However I have heard many stories of apparently successful relationships, even resulting in kids, where one of the partners has Asperger's, but how is this possible? What qualities and attributes facilitate the relationship?

Please share your experiences of where you met your partner, how the relationship developed, and how I could increase my chances of meeting someone. Are dating sites the only answer? I am involved in many activities, voluntary work, attend meetings, but have no friends.

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  • I was friends with him.  I found him easy to talk to and I was there if he ever wanted a chat.  Because of my social understanding I thought this was what friends did, I never ever realise if people fancy me.  I get on well with my manager and he took a few of us out for a meal one night (I don't like eating out in front of others but I was in good company and I didn't have to pay :) ), and my now partner wasn't there that particular evening, and my manager mentioned he thought the guy fancied me.  I really didn't believe him, I had no idea what he was on about.  He was pretty sure he did, and even bet money on it.  I had never thought of him in that way before, never had to.  I don't really remember what happened after that (it was over a year ago).  I think about a month after we just got more friendly when chatting to each other by messages and then I think he mentioned he liked me, but I really couldn't say.  We then just started spending more and more time together.  I mentioned I was not long out of a long term relationship (actually, it was about a year since it happened) so I didn't want to rush into anything, and I thought that if he was serious then he would stick about.  And he did. I was really nervous that he could be like my ex, but luckily he's absolutely nothing like him.  And neither are his parents.

    I've always been friends with the guy before going out with him.  It's probably because this person has taken interest in me and I've just been as friendly as I can, not realising they fancy me.  I got told about a month ago that there was this guy who used to work with me and apparently he quite liked me and wanted to ask me out, but didn't have the courage to.  People like to tell me these things because they think it's hilarious that I don't notice.  I suppose some people would find that hurtful, but I can only laugh with them.

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  • I was friends with him.  I found him easy to talk to and I was there if he ever wanted a chat.  Because of my social understanding I thought this was what friends did, I never ever realise if people fancy me.  I get on well with my manager and he took a few of us out for a meal one night (I don't like eating out in front of others but I was in good company and I didn't have to pay :) ), and my now partner wasn't there that particular evening, and my manager mentioned he thought the guy fancied me.  I really didn't believe him, I had no idea what he was on about.  He was pretty sure he did, and even bet money on it.  I had never thought of him in that way before, never had to.  I don't really remember what happened after that (it was over a year ago).  I think about a month after we just got more friendly when chatting to each other by messages and then I think he mentioned he liked me, but I really couldn't say.  We then just started spending more and more time together.  I mentioned I was not long out of a long term relationship (actually, it was about a year since it happened) so I didn't want to rush into anything, and I thought that if he was serious then he would stick about.  And he did. I was really nervous that he could be like my ex, but luckily he's absolutely nothing like him.  And neither are his parents.

    I've always been friends with the guy before going out with him.  It's probably because this person has taken interest in me and I've just been as friendly as I can, not realising they fancy me.  I got told about a month ago that there was this guy who used to work with me and apparently he quite liked me and wanted to ask me out, but didn't have the courage to.  People like to tell me these things because they think it's hilarious that I don't notice.  I suppose some people would find that hurtful, but I can only laugh with them.

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