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Relationships

Hope

 

I was wondering if the people with Asperger's who have managed to settle down, have kids, get married, or simply develop close friendships, could please explain how they managed to achieve these things; despite having severe social problems.

At 26 years old, I am none the wiser as to how to develop friendships, let alone forge relationships. I would love to have kids (a dream of mine since I was small), yet the practicalities of the matter scare me. However I have heard many stories of apparently successful relationships, even resulting in kids, where one of the partners has Asperger's, but how is this possible? What qualities and attributes facilitate the relationship?

Please share your experiences of where you met your partner, how the relationship developed, and how I could increase my chances of meeting someone. Are dating sites the only answer? I am involved in many activities, voluntary work, attend meetings, but have no friends.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    In my opinion, a good relationship has a recipe containing respect, trust, love, patience, understanding and some physical cuddles and sex. Everyone has different ideas but those are my essential ingredients. Children are, to me, the icing on the cake and they provide another set of rewards (and challenges) if you are fortunate enough to be able to have them.

    if you try and have a relationship without one of these elements it will be like making a cake without an essential ingredient.

    The physical side can be a mystery to begin with! If you look at what's involved it is a pretty bonkers (ugly?) mechanism! It takes practice, with all of the other ingredients, before you get any good at it. I suspect most peoples early experiences will be awkward, clumsy and unsatisfying. I found that the Channel 4 series "Masters of Sex" did a pretty good job of showing what it's really about (not sure if this is still available on catchup or anywhere, there is another series coming up sometime). It showed things in a different way to the shiny, idealised, purely physical, pornographic view that a lot of people are confronted with every day. It included a range of characters with different views and needs including some gay, hetero, randy, disinterested, inexperienced etc etc so i'm sure most people could identify with some of the plot lines.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    In my opinion, a good relationship has a recipe containing respect, trust, love, patience, understanding and some physical cuddles and sex. Everyone has different ideas but those are my essential ingredients. Children are, to me, the icing on the cake and they provide another set of rewards (and challenges) if you are fortunate enough to be able to have them.

    if you try and have a relationship without one of these elements it will be like making a cake without an essential ingredient.

    The physical side can be a mystery to begin with! If you look at what's involved it is a pretty bonkers (ugly?) mechanism! It takes practice, with all of the other ingredients, before you get any good at it. I suspect most peoples early experiences will be awkward, clumsy and unsatisfying. I found that the Channel 4 series "Masters of Sex" did a pretty good job of showing what it's really about (not sure if this is still available on catchup or anywhere, there is another series coming up sometime). It showed things in a different way to the shiny, idealised, purely physical, pornographic view that a lot of people are confronted with every day. It included a range of characters with different views and needs including some gay, hetero, randy, disinterested, inexperienced etc etc so i'm sure most people could identify with some of the plot lines.

Children
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