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Relationships

Hope

 

I was wondering if the people with Asperger's who have managed to settle down, have kids, get married, or simply develop close friendships, could please explain how they managed to achieve these things; despite having severe social problems.

At 26 years old, I am none the wiser as to how to develop friendships, let alone forge relationships. I would love to have kids (a dream of mine since I was small), yet the practicalities of the matter scare me. However I have heard many stories of apparently successful relationships, even resulting in kids, where one of the partners has Asperger's, but how is this possible? What qualities and attributes facilitate the relationship?

Please share your experiences of where you met your partner, how the relationship developed, and how I could increase my chances of meeting someone. Are dating sites the only answer? I am involved in many activities, voluntary work, attend meetings, but have no friends.

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  • Hello my name is Abi.

    I understand what you mean about the practicalities of relationships are frightening. I was unable to even fathom trying a relationship until I was seventeen. Which didn't seem to be how I had hoped. I'm twenty years old now and have been in a relationship for nearly a year. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was eighteen. Honestly I couldn't consider the physical attributes of a relationship because I feel overly sensitive with people being near me. I dream of having a child one day too but that currently frightens me more than having a relationship did. 

    I met my partner online. It may not be a suitable way to however I felt it was the best for me to communicate with the opposite sex by writing which I find easier than general communication. I found similar interests with my partner and his personality seemed to flow with mine rather than finding the conversation stunted or at a dead end. I found myself able to open up about myself. 

    I now live my partner after us knowing each other for at least a year I felt comfortable to meet him publically. I think my partner finds it simpler to understand me because he cared full time for his younger brother with a similar condition to mine. What made it less frightening was considering it not as a relationship but a friendship with the attributes of loyalty in a relationship. I know now that my partner and I will be together for a long time. He's seen me at my worst and best and still supports me. 

    Friendships are all together more complicated than a relationship for me however because I still can't manage to maintain them except for a friend I have had throughout high school, because I believe above all in loyalty I'm the only friend who did in her life and she accepts me more as her best friend. Together we have been through so much but supported each other. Only consider a friend if they accept you for who you are is something I follow. 

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  • Hello my name is Abi.

    I understand what you mean about the practicalities of relationships are frightening. I was unable to even fathom trying a relationship until I was seventeen. Which didn't seem to be how I had hoped. I'm twenty years old now and have been in a relationship for nearly a year. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was eighteen. Honestly I couldn't consider the physical attributes of a relationship because I feel overly sensitive with people being near me. I dream of having a child one day too but that currently frightens me more than having a relationship did. 

    I met my partner online. It may not be a suitable way to however I felt it was the best for me to communicate with the opposite sex by writing which I find easier than general communication. I found similar interests with my partner and his personality seemed to flow with mine rather than finding the conversation stunted or at a dead end. I found myself able to open up about myself. 

    I now live my partner after us knowing each other for at least a year I felt comfortable to meet him publically. I think my partner finds it simpler to understand me because he cared full time for his younger brother with a similar condition to mine. What made it less frightening was considering it not as a relationship but a friendship with the attributes of loyalty in a relationship. I know now that my partner and I will be together for a long time. He's seen me at my worst and best and still supports me. 

    Friendships are all together more complicated than a relationship for me however because I still can't manage to maintain them except for a friend I have had throughout high school, because I believe above all in loyalty I'm the only friend who did in her life and she accepts me more as her best friend. Together we have been through so much but supported each other. Only consider a friend if they accept you for who you are is something I follow. 

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