• Replies 20 replies
  • Subscribers 88 subscribers
  • Views 924 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I got the “you’re welcome” today

Autismman

I was in a busy shop earlier trying to get out of the way of shoppers who seem to want the item on the shelf right where I’m standing as usual so I head up to the top of the isle to try exit it and give others and myself room when a woman on my left says “you’re welcome” as I pass her. I’ll be honest I didn’t even see her as I was focusing on getting away from others as quickly as possible, she may as well have been part of a shelf for all I knew but it’s the passive aggressiveness that gets me, why resort to this tactic? Was she having a bad day? Did she not think for one second “he didn’t see me?”. I felt annoyed myself so just ignored her and carried on, next time am I meant to bow down at the feet of someone who gives me some extra room in a shopping isle?. This isn’t the first time I’ve come across this aggression aimed at me for not knowing someone had moved out the way for me, last time it was a bloke who was even angrier than the lady today. 

Parents

  • I've had this sort of thing before too and it feels hurtful and confusing. I had a similar thing with a woman a couple of months ago when she said hello to me and I didn't hear her, then she said very loudly 'How rude', I asked her if she was talking to me and she was and said that she'd said hello and I'd ignoed her, she didn't seem to accept that I genuinely hadn't heard her and was off in a world of my own, which she also found rude. You just can't win with some people, I was in a little world of my own, which excluded her and she couldn't deal with not being the centre of everyones universe, I suspect the  woman you encountered was the same.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I get paranoid when I'm out walking. If someone is approaching, I watch their eyes to see if they look in my direction. If they do, I'll nod and/or say hello. If not, we are ships passing in the night.

    I hate it when I forget to do this and someone says hello just as they come level with me. Then, even if I react quickly, I'll be talking/stuttering to their receding back. I feel like I've let everyone down! (Like that inflatable boy. Wink)

    This is why I find the simple act of going for a walk to be mentally tiring at times. This, and making sure I'm walking on the correct line, keeping the correct space around me, not getting in anyone's way, avoiding dog poop, etc.

    I'm guessing NTs don't overthink the whole process like that, or even consider it a "process".

Reply
  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I get paranoid when I'm out walking. If someone is approaching, I watch their eyes to see if they look in my direction. If they do, I'll nod and/or say hello. If not, we are ships passing in the night.

    I hate it when I forget to do this and someone says hello just as they come level with me. Then, even if I react quickly, I'll be talking/stuttering to their receding back. I feel like I've let everyone down! (Like that inflatable boy. Wink)

    This is why I find the simple act of going for a walk to be mentally tiring at times. This, and making sure I'm walking on the correct line, keeping the correct space around me, not getting in anyone's way, avoiding dog poop, etc.

    I'm guessing NTs don't overthink the whole process like that, or even consider it a "process".

Children
  • in reply to Damojo

    I had this conversation with my son recently while we were out on a walk. 

    I mentioned I feel like I have to acknowledge everyone who passes. Which I find difficult.

    My son lives in Norway and they don't have any of these issues. They are very reserved in public and they have an almost unspoken respect for leaving people alone.

    Perfect!!

    Probably why I never want to come home when I visit.

  • in reply to Damojo

    I have this awkward moment sometimes where I have to make sure someone is looking at me before I wave and do the awkward smile of acknowledgment. To me it feels like I’m just staring for eternity maybe more than is normally considered comfortable before I can be sure it’s time to react to them. I think I’m judging whether I can just get away without being seen but if they see me then it’s too late so to not wave or say hello would be rude or odd to them.