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Poop has hit the fan

Rach91

Poop has well and truly hit the fan and I’m trying to put it politely as I can. I can’t stop worry about my friend Rikki. If I don’t hear from him I panic so much and I can’t control it. Today I was supposed to be seeing him this evening so this morning I call him via WhatsApp. He doesn’t answer I then start thinking what if he he dead what if he ill and so on. I call again and again and he turns his phone off causing me to panic even more. Eventually I’m in such a state where I’m shaking making myself sick and I have to go check on him. I phoned the Samaritans and I think that was a bad idea because the person was pushing me to get to his flat which I did and I tried calling out to him a few minutes after doing that he messages me and he annoyed. He now wants a break I’m blocked and I’m not seeing him later. I only became like this after his heart attack and open heart surgery which happened over 2 years ago since then he gave up smoking cigarettes and vaping. He is fit and and active but I still worry constantly about him. I lost my mum to a heart condition I don’t want to lose my best friend either. That’s why I get so carried away I’m trying to have therapy for my behaviour and I’m at the point where I’m reflecting on my actions after they happen and sometimes I can control myself. He says to me I have a heart of gold but my head is messed up. He really thinks the world of me and I know we are still friends but I’m I’m really upset because he doesn’t want to talk or see me for a few days and this is going to trigger my worries about him and his heart. I really don’t know what to do I don’t want to be like this I want to start thinking he ok I just don’t know how though. 

Parents

  • Really feel for you reading this story, the sense of utter panic and need to reassure yourself by checking is very clear. I am in no way a medical professional but some life changing events leave us with trauma, whether or not you fit that category is up to the experts but you’ve evidently been scarred by the tragic lose of your mother. I lost my mother to cancer just over three years ago, she was only in her early 60s so expected more time with her than I had. I have no doubt that her death changed my world view and also who I am as a person. Its left me feeling vulnerable and uncertain where as before I had more confidence in my ability to control my mental health better, I have lost my tools so to speak. Perhaps when your friend is feeling up to it arrange a coffee for an open and honest chat, you don’t need to be sorry for how you are, it’s not something you can switch off but maybe you’ll feel better if you can lay the cards on the table, not sure if this is something you’ve done already but friends need each other. 

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  • Really feel for you reading this story, the sense of utter panic and need to reassure yourself by checking is very clear. I am in no way a medical professional but some life changing events leave us with trauma, whether or not you fit that category is up to the experts but you’ve evidently been scarred by the tragic lose of your mother. I lost my mother to cancer just over three years ago, she was only in her early 60s so expected more time with her than I had. I have no doubt that her death changed my world view and also who I am as a person. Its left me feeling vulnerable and uncertain where as before I had more confidence in my ability to control my mental health better, I have lost my tools so to speak. Perhaps when your friend is feeling up to it arrange a coffee for an open and honest chat, you don’t need to be sorry for how you are, it’s not something you can switch off but maybe you’ll feel better if you can lay the cards on the table, not sure if this is something you’ve done already but friends need each other. 

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