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Being an Autistic Manager is hard!

Vickstick

I'm late diagnosed Autistic (diagnosed July 24) and ADHD (Dec 23) so really new to everything. Add top that the fact that I got promoted to Admin Lead of my department in January this year. The new role has mostly been fairly comfortable. My line manager and HR department are fully aware of my diagnosis and on the whole are very supportive. I manage a small team of 6 admin and work with other departments to supply support for them as they need it. Lately, though, I have been feeling overwhelmed, due to the higher ups demands and my inability to say no (people pleaser - YAY!). There have also been some issues with some members of my team and with another manager in the company. My RSD is really kicking in and making me so paranoid that I feel like every conversation, low mood, teams message etc; is directly related to me. I've not wanted to go to work for the last 2 weeks and am on the verge of quitting every five minutes! I had to cancel my counselling due to money issues, and haven't got round to booking back in again yet. Someone talk me down off of this quitting ledge, cos I'm pretty sure that if I don't work this out, I'll be planning my new career as a florist or circus performer by the end of the day!

Parents

  • I feel your pain.

    I was a manager for about 20 years and it never got easier, but finding the right tools to help does take some of the sting out of it.

    The skills I found most helpful are:

    1 - mindfulness. This helps get any sitution put into context fast and helps you make an informed decision on the right approach to it.

    2 - meditation. This can help you come down from the stress highs very quickly. Being able to escape to the server room / store room etc for a bit of quiet while you work through the relaxation process can be a real lifesaver.

    3 - learn to not take things personally. This took a long time but it is just a job and everyone is more or less looking out for themselves so understanding it and not taking it to heart saves so much stress.

    4 - ask the company for a mentor. This can be a manager (even from another part of the company) who can teach you the management skills that training courses don't cover. Oh and ask for training courses too - some can be excellent such as conflict resolution.

    5 - learn how to switch off when you leave work. A therapist can teach you techniques for this  that work with your AuADHD traits. This helps you get a lot more from your life outside of work and lets you switch the stress survival mode on/off more easily.

    Vickstick said:
    I had to cancel my counselling due to money issues

    If you don't have enough money left over after bills then look for another job. Sometimes just finding one and telling the company you are leaving can result in them finding a big pay bump to keep you, money that mysteriously wan't there for a normal pay rise...

    The think I probably enjoyed most about my role was helping my team thrive. It takes a fair bit of understanding of psychology to know how to get them to engage and want to be better but seeing them happy in their role is so worthwhile.

    It does get better - it will take a lot of learning of techniques and practice so consider it a long term process as part of your career development and it is less daunting.

Reply

  • I feel your pain.

    I was a manager for about 20 years and it never got easier, but finding the right tools to help does take some of the sting out of it.

    The skills I found most helpful are:

    1 - mindfulness. This helps get any sitution put into context fast and helps you make an informed decision on the right approach to it.

    2 - meditation. This can help you come down from the stress highs very quickly. Being able to escape to the server room / store room etc for a bit of quiet while you work through the relaxation process can be a real lifesaver.

    3 - learn to not take things personally. This took a long time but it is just a job and everyone is more or less looking out for themselves so understanding it and not taking it to heart saves so much stress.

    4 - ask the company for a mentor. This can be a manager (even from another part of the company) who can teach you the management skills that training courses don't cover. Oh and ask for training courses too - some can be excellent such as conflict resolution.

    5 - learn how to switch off when you leave work. A therapist can teach you techniques for this  that work with your AuADHD traits. This helps you get a lot more from your life outside of work and lets you switch the stress survival mode on/off more easily.

    Vickstick said:
    I had to cancel my counselling due to money issues

    If you don't have enough money left over after bills then look for another job. Sometimes just finding one and telling the company you are leaving can result in them finding a big pay bump to keep you, money that mysteriously wan't there for a normal pay rise...

    The think I probably enjoyed most about my role was helping my team thrive. It takes a fair bit of understanding of psychology to know how to get them to engage and want to be better but seeing them happy in their role is so worthwhile.

    It does get better - it will take a lot of learning of techniques and practice so consider it a long term process as part of your career development and it is less daunting.

Children
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