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A Triple Empathy Problem - think about it.

Phased

Readers of this may be aware of Sir Baron Cohen's work of the problem of empathy for autistics from 2009 and beyond.

Readers of this may also be aware of and have lived experiences of the Double Empathy Problem as described by Dr Damian Milton in 2012.

Recently I have been thinking that as well as including double empathy problems between neurodiverse and neurotypical maybe the model could do with expanding again.

There is a third empathy problem that is also in the mix:

"be kind to yourself", get to know the neurodivergent you" etc.are the sort of advice and practice that I encounter post diagnosis.  These are problems of empathising with oneself as neurodivergent which many of us work so hard to overcome.

I suggest promotion of awareness of the triple empathy problem.

ThinkingNeutral faceVulcan

Parents

  • The issue that you describe (of potentially struggling to empathise with our neurodivergent selves) sounds very much to me like "internalised ableism". 

    Please don't feel that my use of that phrase implies any form of personal criticism towards you or anyone else - it truly doesn't. I'm trying to work through my own internalised ableism, and am not finding it either easy or a quick process (because it typically isn't).

    Recognising and understanding it can be really helpful in tackling the kinds of issues that you described, such as being kinder to ourselves, getting to know the neurodivergent us, etc.

    Rather than waffling on about it myself, I'll link to this article, which explains more - including noting the very important points that "A lifetime of conditioning cannot be undone overnight", and " internalised ableism doesn’t mean you are a bad person":

    Autistic Parents UK - Overcoming Internalised Ableism

Reply

  • The issue that you describe (of potentially struggling to empathise with our neurodivergent selves) sounds very much to me like "internalised ableism". 

    Please don't feel that my use of that phrase implies any form of personal criticism towards you or anyone else - it truly doesn't. I'm trying to work through my own internalised ableism, and am not finding it either easy or a quick process (because it typically isn't).

    Recognising and understanding it can be really helpful in tackling the kinds of issues that you described, such as being kinder to ourselves, getting to know the neurodivergent us, etc.

    Rather than waffling on about it myself, I'll link to this article, which explains more - including noting the very important points that "A lifetime of conditioning cannot be undone overnight", and " internalised ableism doesn’t mean you are a bad person":

    Autistic Parents UK - Overcoming Internalised Ableism

Children