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Dealing with gossip in a work environment

Emmalephant

Hey! 

This might be a very naïve post, but I’m currently struggling a lot with social norms in the workplace. After getting out of school this year, I started my voluntary social service at emergency services and it had me up and running. Mostly because of the social attitude of my colleagues. There is a broad gossiping culture you might expect in a school and I know of one young colleague who gets talked about a lot behind her back. She is also autistic as far as I heard and there were nasty comments about the firm not being an “inclusive institution”. Yes there are people who complain about her not being good at her job which is a valid complaint at least, but mostly it’s people just being annoyed by her character. It’s that way for a lot of people (if not everyone), but it’s especially bad for her. People even put paprika spice in her coffee-powder twice already. 
My anxiety about getting bullied or even talked about behind my back all the time is rising with each day and while I’m trying my best, it’s just exhausting to put on an act everyday (even worse than at school) for at least eight hours at a time (it will be more during my ambulance internship for the qualification I’m doing… twelve or even 24 hours with the same people). 
Is this common in the working crowd? Was I so wrong about hoping for things to get better after school? How do you handle this? Advice is very much wanted.

I just want this year, to which I looked forward to for so long, to end so I can go and study with the ability to just isolate. I didn’t feel this frustrated since before the Abitur and I worry about my performance breaking under the pressure. I know this sounds like a big pity-party and while that’s not my intention, I’m sorry.

Parents

  • I think you're right to be concerned, putting paprika in someones coffee! How do they know she's not allergic to it? I think you should take this to HR, spiking someones drink with anything is against the law here.

    I think gossip is pretty normal, but you don't have to engage with it, if someone tries to get you on "thier side", then just listen and make some neutral noises, like 'yes, I see where you're coming from', but also make it clear that you wish to remain neutral and that if people want to tell you stuff they can, but you only deal with the person in front of you. It's a very tiring situation to be in and it dosen't feel particulalry safe, as you probably don't know if they're all going to turn on you. If it makes any difference I'm negotiating a similar situation where two friends have fallen out and one at least is acting like we're all still in the playground and we're all in our 60's. 

    I think everyone hopes that when we leave school, that we'll leave all that stuff behind, but unfortunately we don't, all we can do is change how we deal with it.

    One thing I have noticed over the years and have heard from many is that the caring professions can be very uncaring of their own.

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  • I think you're right to be concerned, putting paprika in someones coffee! How do they know she's not allergic to it? I think you should take this to HR, spiking someones drink with anything is against the law here.

    I think gossip is pretty normal, but you don't have to engage with it, if someone tries to get you on "thier side", then just listen and make some neutral noises, like 'yes, I see where you're coming from', but also make it clear that you wish to remain neutral and that if people want to tell you stuff they can, but you only deal with the person in front of you. It's a very tiring situation to be in and it dosen't feel particulalry safe, as you probably don't know if they're all going to turn on you. If it makes any difference I'm negotiating a similar situation where two friends have fallen out and one at least is acting like we're all still in the playground and we're all in our 60's. 

    I think everyone hopes that when we leave school, that we'll leave all that stuff behind, but unfortunately we don't, all we can do is change how we deal with it.

    One thing I have noticed over the years and have heard from many is that the caring professions can be very uncaring of their own.

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