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Dealing with gossip in a work environment

Emmalephant

Hey! 

This might be a very naïve post, but I’m currently struggling a lot with social norms in the workplace. After getting out of school this year, I started my voluntary social service at emergency services and it had me up and running. Mostly because of the social attitude of my colleagues. There is a broad gossiping culture you might expect in a school and I know of one young colleague who gets talked about a lot behind her back. She is also autistic as far as I heard and there were nasty comments about the firm not being an “inclusive institution”. Yes there are people who complain about her not being good at her job which is a valid complaint at least, but mostly it’s people just being annoyed by her character. It’s that way for a lot of people (if not everyone), but it’s especially bad for her. People even put paprika spice in her coffee-powder twice already. 
My anxiety about getting bullied or even talked about behind my back all the time is rising with each day and while I’m trying my best, it’s just exhausting to put on an act everyday (even worse than at school) for at least eight hours at a time (it will be more during my ambulance internship for the qualification I’m doing… twelve or even 24 hours with the same people). 
Is this common in the working crowd? Was I so wrong about hoping for things to get better after school? How do you handle this? Advice is very much wanted.

I just want this year, to which I looked forward to for so long, to end so I can go and study with the ability to just isolate. I didn’t feel this frustrated since before the Abitur and I worry about my performance breaking under the pressure. I know this sounds like a big pity-party and while that’s not my intention, I’m sorry.

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  • Emmalephant said:
    Is this common in the working crowd?

    I think it is - at least in my experience (I've worked for about 12 companies, most as a consultant).

    The health service (certainly emergency services) seems to have a need to vent due to the literal life and death nature of the work and they seem to have cliques form of like minded people, many of who want something like gossip to take their mind off the horrors they deal with daily.

    Emmalephant said:
    there are people who complain about her not being good at her job which is a valid complaint at least

    I've seen plenty of this sort of victimisation - the staff are trying to make her leave in the hope they can get a competent replacement, but they are using underhand and possibly illegal ways to do it. If you try to put a stop to it then they will turn on you instead so be careful how you align yourself in this dynamic.

    Emmalephant said:
    Was I so wrong about hoping for things to get better after school?

    I think it was a bit naive to expect things to get better - education is in a bubble in the working world and unfortunately most working environments are harsh and often brutal to work in. It is probably the reason only around 20% of autists can keep a full time job.

    You know better now so I would use this to re-evaluate your approach to work, harden your tolerance to the other peoples behaviours and keep your distance from them as much as you reasonably can so you don't get drawn into it or become their next target.

    A bully free environment is the ideal but we are so far from this that it requires a different approach if you are to survive.

    All in my opinion of course.

Reply
  • Emmalephant said:
    Is this common in the working crowd?

    I think it is - at least in my experience (I've worked for about 12 companies, most as a consultant).

    The health service (certainly emergency services) seems to have a need to vent due to the literal life and death nature of the work and they seem to have cliques form of like minded people, many of who want something like gossip to take their mind off the horrors they deal with daily.

    Emmalephant said:
    there are people who complain about her not being good at her job which is a valid complaint at least

    I've seen plenty of this sort of victimisation - the staff are trying to make her leave in the hope they can get a competent replacement, but they are using underhand and possibly illegal ways to do it. If you try to put a stop to it then they will turn on you instead so be careful how you align yourself in this dynamic.

    Emmalephant said:
    Was I so wrong about hoping for things to get better after school?

    I think it was a bit naive to expect things to get better - education is in a bubble in the working world and unfortunately most working environments are harsh and often brutal to work in. It is probably the reason only around 20% of autists can keep a full time job.

    You know better now so I would use this to re-evaluate your approach to work, harden your tolerance to the other peoples behaviours and keep your distance from them as much as you reasonably can so you don't get drawn into it or become their next target.

    A bully free environment is the ideal but we are so far from this that it requires a different approach if you are to survive.

    All in my opinion of course.

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