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Dealing with gossip in a work environment

Emmalephant

Hey! 

This might be a very naïve post, but I’m currently struggling a lot with social norms in the workplace. After getting out of school this year, I started my voluntary social service at emergency services and it had me up and running. Mostly because of the social attitude of my colleagues. There is a broad gossiping culture you might expect in a school and I know of one young colleague who gets talked about a lot behind her back. She is also autistic as far as I heard and there were nasty comments about the firm not being an “inclusive institution”. Yes there are people who complain about her not being good at her job which is a valid complaint at least, but mostly it’s people just being annoyed by her character. It’s that way for a lot of people (if not everyone), but it’s especially bad for her. People even put paprika spice in her coffee-powder twice already. 
My anxiety about getting bullied or even talked about behind my back all the time is rising with each day and while I’m trying my best, it’s just exhausting to put on an act everyday (even worse than at school) for at least eight hours at a time (it will be more during my ambulance internship for the qualification I’m doing… twelve or even 24 hours with the same people). 
Is this common in the working crowd? Was I so wrong about hoping for things to get better after school? How do you handle this? Advice is very much wanted.

I just want this year, to which I looked forward to for so long, to end so I can go and study with the ability to just isolate. I didn’t feel this frustrated since before the Abitur and I worry about my performance breaking under the pressure. I know this sounds like a big pity-party and while that’s not my intention, I’m sorry.

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  • in reply to Autismman

    Yes, it’s horrible how people are just accepting her being treated like an outcast and less than poorly. Thanks for your words and also for putting things into perspective. I thought, I was going crazy with everyone just being so nonchalant about this.

  • in reply to Emmalephant
    Emmalephant said:
    “Oh well, you must’ve done something to turn them against you, no?”

    This implies there is some limit as to how much you can dislike someone before bullying them is seen as an acceptable response or solution. Again, without knowing the full picture it’s a hard call but all you can do is do what you feel/think is best for you. Work environments are often not the most ideal places to have to spend most of your time, they are made worse by toxic behaviours.

  • in reply to Autismman

    She is thinking about filing a formal complaint and even tried to talk to a colleague. I heard the conversation and she was pretty much dismissed with something along the lines of “Oh well, you must’ve done something to turn them against you, no?” Even though she admitted that this coffee thing went too far. I worry for her though. If she’s going to file a complaint (which totally is the right thing to do), this will trickle down to become common knowledge eventually. 
    I’m only gonna stay for a year, but she has also just been there for a little over a year now, so it can definitely escalate quickly with these group dynamics.

  • in reply to Emmalephant

    I wouldn’t call it complaining, I’d see it as a responsible thing to do. I don’t know the entire picture here, maybe she’s in on the jokes and banter herself? But if you feel this needs to go higher up the chain then I’d strongly recommend this is made clear to those in charge. If the higher ups aren’t willing to deal with this appropriately then you have a choice to make or break because long term this type of toxic work environment will infect your long term happiness and life enjoyment.