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Not sure what to do

Rach91

Hi today I went to my local autism hub it’s a place I go to most Saturdays and I socialise with people play games or just chat with other autistic people. Today someone turned up someone I’ve not seen in years. I was not pleased to see this person as a few years ago this person made my life hell. This person used to be physically abusive towards me and stole money from me and I cut them off completely from my life. People noticed my cold response to this person and I couldn’t explain why I was so rude not with the person that abused me in the room. I know you shouldn’t hold grudges but I feel I can’t trust this person. I want to keep going to the hub as I enjoy it the staff members love me and my sense of humour but I don’t know how to manage with the let’s say newest member there. 

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  • Ohh, what a horrible situation, this person may well have changed in the intervening years, but they broke your trust and any future trust, respect, or friendship must be earned. I wouldn't want anything to do with them either, I don't think it's about holding grudges or failing to forgive or anything, but about not trusting someone who you know to be abusive and thieving. 

    Could you get to speak to one of the workers at the hub you go too alone? Then they can be aware of you're feelings and that this might be a pattern of behaviour with this person.

    Maybe in time you might feel able to confront this person calmly and tell them that you don't like them and don't really want anything to do with them, but that you'll treat them with respect whilst you're both at the hub?

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  • Ohh, what a horrible situation, this person may well have changed in the intervening years, but they broke your trust and any future trust, respect, or friendship must be earned. I wouldn't want anything to do with them either, I don't think it's about holding grudges or failing to forgive or anything, but about not trusting someone who you know to be abusive and thieving. 

    Could you get to speak to one of the workers at the hub you go too alone? Then they can be aware of you're feelings and that this might be a pattern of behaviour with this person.

    Maybe in time you might feel able to confront this person calmly and tell them that you don't like them and don't really want anything to do with them, but that you'll treat them with respect whilst you're both at the hub?

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