Do you find it difficult to be rushed to do something

Hi Kenny,

I get this a lot with my Mum to be honest. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Mum to pieces - and my Dad too. But there are days when she’ll tell me (or both of us) to do things, despite already telling us to do 3 jobs a few minutes beforehand.

Most of the time, from my point of view, I try and just get on with what she’s already asked me to do - but if I am really not feeling up to it or she starts adding more to the ‘list’ (so to speak) - I do tell her that I am just going to concentrate on getting the first job done first and then I will go onto the next job, knowing that if I can just do that one job at a time, then I know I can get it done to ‘Mum’s’ standard lol. 

Dad on the other hand, isn’t as good as telling my Mum straight that he’s got enough to get on with and piling more jobs on to him is stressing him out. He’s better at it now, as I have normally told Mum to stop giving more jobs when he’s got enough on.

I am grateful with my work though as they are really understanding with my Autism etc. (rare in a job these days I know). To be honest, my workplace is more of a solace to me (especially if I am stressed out at home) and coming into work helps.

Anyway, to cut it short - just concentrate on one job at a time and that will help.

Mweekie xx 

I get that with the font size too, I also get it with large chunks of text and texts with loads of emoji's in them.

People tell me that people work best under pressure, that it's been proven in someway, I think thats a load of rubbish put about by bullies. I too hate having people pacing about when I'm doing something, being micromanaged, if they want it done so carefully and precisely then why not do it themselves?

I sometimes ask people if they want something done right or if they want it done fast? They don't like that.

It's unacceptable really. Their lack of planning and foresight basically gets dumped on you.

I totally agree, if im not in the mood I wont do it as I won't have the energy to do it or the interrest. It becomes a massive choa physically and mentally to try and do it. I also hate being asked to do stuff as the way they say it can feel like there rushing you or demanding u to do it 

I love this attitude! I struggle with this a lot and at my university, they often give such short notice for huge deadlines (unlike in all previous unis and workplaces) and it can put a huge strain on me and affects my productivity 

I like that and I'll use that to process any jobs I do, thanks.

Yes definitely, I need time to sit with some jobs - allow things to occur to me etc. This is especially true of any job that is new to me that has some elements of which I am unsure or not confident about. I am getting much better with age at not allowing others to rush me unnecessarily to meet some arbitrary deadline of their own choosing. I reason that if the deadline was so important they should have given more notice.

I get this sort of thing with work all the time. A customer will spend an age deciding what they want and then, once they have decided what they want, they announce a deadline that is very close. I now just go back and tell them when we can do the job by, pretty safe in the knowledge that they won't be able to get anyone else to do it quicker at this late stage. Take it or leave it.

Taking on the stress of others used to be a big issue for me but I have done a lot of work on not allowing that any more. Just recognising it as a thing made a big difference.

Other peoples dramas are nothing to do with me.

I also find the added pressure of someone hovering / lurking too near / watching me / waiting for me nearby can be counter-productive too.

Even simple things can become stressful under those added pressure conditions (even if people didn't mean it that way).

For example, yesterday I did some laundry and when I heard the washing machine had finished; I came to the machine to take the clean laundry outdoors to hang it up to air dry - only to find right next to the machine: another person in the household had parked their full laundry bag on the floor there - which I then started (needlessly) worrying I might trip over, then the person came and leaned on the room doorframe patiently waiting and watching (silently) for me to empty the machine so they would then set their laundry wash going next while I hung my load outside.

This felt horrible and oppressive (I really don't believe the person meant it to feel that way). 

I am going to have to have a chat with them about this habit / experience - as my performance and experience really would have benefited from a few moments uncluttered by all that other stuff going on in close proximity.

I didn't quite appreciate the full impact upon me at the time - so I didn't ask them to give me space.

The outcome of the added pressure meant I felt more flustered / confused / lost track of my sequence of actions and just doing something so simple and normally autopilot became a bit fraught feeling - and consequently probably took a bit longer than usual to complete (maybe not in the real world - but that is how it felt to me - starting to worry a bit that I was now holding up the other person - even though nothing they did, or said suggested that might be the case).  Odd how things strike you sometimes - just not an issue I had anticipated.

I can relate to this. I also do very badly with external pressure and my efficiency fluctuates widely so when I can do things when I am feeling well it can be done in a tenth of time sometimes- but it is very hard to make this work for my PhD with all these external demands from others and from the university. Some of the rules just seem like additional barriers that make it very hard for me to get anywhere 

I'm like Stuart, I too get things done faster if I'm not asked. I'm often ok with the task I'm asked to do, but it does depend on who's doing the asking, the situation and the tone of voice. If it's a work type situation then I'll do it, I might have to grit my teeth, but thats what I'm there for. Some people disguise orders as requests that are difficult to ignore, but ignore them I often do, even if a disagreement happens later.

To do something properly and well I need to be in the mood to do it and have the energy to do it, there are times when I really want to be out gardening, but I just don't have the energy or am in to much pain, then I get really fed up with being "asked" to do things.

Come to think of it, I can also be put off doing something if it's not presented to me in a way that I'm comfortable or familiar with. I can get a bit startled by things that are different from what I expect and it takes me more time to process and deal with them.

For example, in this forum, if someone posts a page full of text with no paragraphs, or someone posts using a really large font, my little brain just digs in its heels and says, "No. Not right now. Maybe I'll get back to this one later." 

Same here. Depending on the task, I need minutes to months to "get my head around it". I might not even do much planning or thinking about it, though I usually do. I like to run through the task/change/whatever in my head, or just step through the various options. I just need to feel, "OK, I'm ready to do this now." It's probably some combination of traits like problems with task initiation and not liking things that are unpredictable.

Same. I take time to process things, and do it differently.

Many times queues appear slowly when the attention is elsewhere.

Everything spontaneous tends to be bad for me, and was learnt the hard way.

I get things done faster if I'm not asked. 

Being asked to rush something, even if I was already doing it, and there's plenty of time, is unreasonably and unexplainably stressful.