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CBT experience went really bad :-(

Phased

I didn't receive the link for my 1st CBT session as promised so e-mailed and 'phoned and was promised it would arrive 3 days before

it didn't - no record in e-mail

no record of any invite in my "teams" for it being sent

so I contacted and alerted them to this and requested they send the appointment to my e-mail address

It was promised to be sent 15 minutes before

I replied and said send it to my e-mail address

it didn't arrive

eventually it is sent 3 minutes after the appointment started.

so I figure OK that's not a problem

meeting goes bad...  I reckon that I was trying to be too proactive - probably trying to take charge :-(

Eventually in the meeting I asked the therapist whether they had sent invite to someone else.

They responded by asking me whether I was accusing them of sending it to someone else.

I said no - I was asking them whether they had.  I explained that I needed to be able to trust them.

Asked then how many autistic people they had treated - they said in the hundreds.

At which point the therapist said that they were uncomfortable and they were terminating the consultation and would be contacting their manager about it.

What I would appear to have done is inadvertently upset someone (pretty obvious that I was doing so already by their reaction to my behaviour in my asking them what they understood about autism ( no clear indication to me that they understood concept of alexithymia and that autism constitutes a specific part of the spectrum and wanting to stick to their "script" e.g. not flexible to me ironically.)

Anyway I'm distressed reckon they are distressed.

Wnat next?

Ideas anyone please

Parents
  • Phased said:
    Eventually in the meeting I asked the therapist whether they had sent invite to someone else.

    I'll go out on a limb here and say I was a bit surprised you took this angle rather than thinking they were disorganised and only sent it at the last minute. Their response at being accused is understandable in todays litigious culture - they were effectively protecting themselves legally.

    It is bad form on their part to be so poor at organising it for you and if they know autists then they should know most of us need some predictability to feel regulated so this is bang out of order.

    My approach would be to accept them as human, being capable of failing and point out the stress that the last minute nature of the booking caused me. I would ask them how they could address this in future and, if they did it again, then I would verbally ask them to explain themselves in light of their previous promise.

    It is tricky go let it go and accept they are probably as imperfect as me but in different ways, but to set boundaries and not to be afraid to give them grief if they breach these boundaries.

    That would be my approach anyway - we are all different and this may not work for you.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks   A conversation with the manager has pointed out their failings in communication and also laid it on about the way this sort of thing messes about autistic people.

    Yes bang out of order.

    Will take on board the other suggestions too.

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