• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 313 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

New job, but it isn't going so well

Yagharek

Hello

I started a new job last week with a company that really seems to pride itself on its diversity and inclusion practices, its status as a disability confident employer, and its mental health support. I was therefore feeling a touch optimistic in amidst the anxiety.

The role is in the same work type as I was in for the last 10 years plus, but it is a slightly different area of the industry. This role is also in the private sector, whereas my previous one was public sector. I left my last role due to the lack of flexibility and the toxic environment.

I took a two hour train ride to attend the office on my first day and collect my laptop, as well as get my logins sorted. It was quiet and the day actually went ok. My role is a working from home contract.

I found out that my actual line manager was on leave and so I wouldn't meet them until next week.

For the past few days since starting, I've not really been given much to do, nor heard from anyone. I did have some induction emails to read and some general compliance training to do.

But what has really struck me is the complete lack of any structured training for the role. Like, none. I was assigned a couple of 'tasks', and then spoke to the colleague who they belonged to over what needed to be done for each specific task only.

I feel completely overwhelmed with all the newness. The new company, new people, new terminology. I know it's early days, but my anxiety is just increasing and I'm crying a lot. I just don't understand anything with the work, even though I've only had a few things passed to me. I know people say it takes time, but the levels of my stress are so great I don't think I can just ride it out.

I have logged my autism on the HR system, and thought about what reasonable adjustments might help. During my recruitment process, I hadn't said about my autism, assuming the opportunity would come up during onboarding, which would then lead to a discussion of my needs. This doesn't appear to have happened.

Today I've just been logged on reading through intramet pages and feeling awful.

I plan on emailing my manager for Monday with a description of the difficulties I face, including the stress I feel, and a list of adjustments I need (like actual structured training!). And then see what comes. I'm not feeling hopeful. And even then, I still have to somehow get through the next two days.

Part of me wants to quit, but I have no back up job. I can't go back to my old place as my role was filled, and I didn't leave on good terms (I was signed off for my notice). Part of me wants to try hold on until they get rid of me for not being capable of the job, despite being interviewed and doing two assessments, and even being told they'd interviewed quite a few people, but most were not 'where they wanted them to be'.

I think I'm about to test their claims of being disability confident. But I just feel so awful and trapped right now.

  • in reply to Yagharek

    You know your brain in "threat mode", which, while it is not a good thing, it is a good thing to know. That's why  and I were suggesting you hold off on making any complaints or seeking any adjustments for a while. "Threat mode" is never a good time for us to make important decisions.

    Plan a weekend of doing absolutely nothing except whatever calms you. What's your SPIN? Next week things will start to fall into place for you and you'll start to feel a bit more at ease as you get more structure, maybe not totally calm, but at least not quite so close to DEFCON 1!

  • in reply to Yagharek
    Yagharek said:
    Doing lots of poking around the system, reading policies etc, keeping my Teams status green.

    There you go! Until you've been properly inducted and have assigned tasks, they cannot expect you to be doing anything more than that. You're doing great!

  • in reply to Damojo

    Thank you. Those are some good tips. Trying not to worry (lol!) About too far ahead, or even next week. Just trying to focus on getting through today and tomorrow. 

    Doing lots of poking around the system, reading policies etc, keeping my Teams status green. 

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you for this well set out and thoughtful reply. I really hope that despite my brain being in threat mode, things do get better and then my brain can calm down. 

  • Yagharek said:
    what has really struck me is the complete lack of any structured training for the role.

    Firstly, congrats on the new role. The private sector is quite different to where you were but it has plenty of toxicity to go round too so you should expect some and learn to accept that this is pretty normal in any workplace. This helps hugely in finding some peace.

    As for the lack of structure, this will only really start when your manager gets back, catches up with their backlog of emails etc and finds time to spend with you. For now try to think of this as the honeymoon period where you don't need to do much actual work.

    What I would do is go through every piece of induction you can get your hands on. Find where all the documentation lives and go through it, introduce yourself to your teammates and get to know who is in the department. 

    Essentially be proactive in knowing the team, company and the role. The specifics will come soon enough from your manager.

    Is anyone else doing the same role as you? Ask if they can speare some time to show you the basics. Get a head start on what your manager needs to do with you and by saving time you will earn some respect.

    As to how to do all this? You need to ask.

    Social contact is a real challenge so space out these calls with blocks of time for reading or researching to make it easier on you.

    Yagharek said:
    I plan on emailing my manager for Monday with a description of the difficulties I face, including the stress I feel, and a list of adjustments I need

    Personally I would not do this straight away. See what they have planned for you and as they go through the tasks, introduce recommendations on how to accomodate your needs. Once you understand what is ahead then you can work out he adjustments that best suit you

    A new job is always daunting but stick with it - it gets much easier once the newness wears off and you start to feel like a cog in the machine again. Changing to anywhere else will bring the same issues and you have already started so go through this pain barrier since you are already part way through.

    Yagharek said:
    I think I'm about to test their claims of being disability confident

    How do you think they will respond to this? If you start off challenging then then it will put you in a negative light. 

    Find ways to do it positively - ask their HR people about this policy and say it was a big reason you were attracted to the job in such as progressive company. They will love to hear this and having some friends in that department can make a big difference.

    I think you will find things start to settle quite quickly once your manager is back so stick with it, create your own plan to train yourself and structure this in ways you can cope best with. You can do it.

    Good luck in this new job

  • Yagharek said:
    But what has really struck me is the complete lack of any structured training for the role. Like, none.

    Welcome to the private sector!

    Just tough it out until your manager gets back. Hold off on reporting your stress and your need for adjustments for a while—you're only in the door. You are probably a bit overwhelmed by the lack of structure and lack of clearly-defined tasks. That should improve next week and you'll feel a lot more at ease. Next week, just tell your manager that you would like to put some structure on your day and if they could provide you with a clear set of tasks and expectations for the short term. Then see how that goes for you. You passed all the interviews, you beat all the other candidates, so you can do this! (You know you can.)

    While you're waiting, poke around on their systems and see if you can figure out how things work, if training documents, meeting minutes, or even just examples of others' work are available for you to learn from and to get a feel for how they operate. That should keep you occupied and will show that you are doing your best to settle in and learn the ropes. Also, consider contacting HR and getting the name of whoever is covering for your manager and ask them if they have anything they think you should look at while you're getting up to speed.

    I returned to the workforce earlier this year and have a remote job for a company that is several time zones away. It's my first remote role. It was very tough at the start. I didn't get the same feedback about how they thought I was progressing, so I never knew if I was close to being dumped! It was very stressful, but I believed I was capable of doing the job, I did my thing and I've been slowly getting more comfortable with the whole arrangement (if only the bloody ADHD would settle down!) I'm nearly eight months in now and they're still sending work over to me and they are still paying me. And, yes, I did have a few teary and overwhelming moments at the start, too, but, it has all worked out well in the end.

    You'll be OK.