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Struggling with Injustice

Bazzio14

Hi All

i am on the long list for a formal Autism Diagnosis. I was nearly 40 when they made the discovery I am likely Autistic. The signs are there just never realised.

Rather than go off on a tangent will try and get to the point!

I think I Am on the verge of a major burnout and I am scared. Today I had the worst anxiety attack I have ever had, full on heavy breathing, shaming and tears, but even scarier was my aversion to noise in this moment, I was alone in the house but working from home, the phone rang and washing machine was on but I just could not cope with the noise so I ran upstairs and curled into the foetal position in the hope of escaping my feelings.

i have always had a strong sense of justice and at the moment I am finding myself more and more obsessed with what I think is right and fair and I am not able to cope or understand why seething is decided or why something happens the way it does.  Why do people lie, why do things happen the way they do? Why do some get away with some things and some do not? I am really Struggling with this and my own understanding of myself in general and it is scaring me 

Parents

  • I’m sorry that you’re feeling so overwhelmed at the moment. Sometimes when we experience such strong emotions it’s not surprising that this can make us feel panic and feel overwhelmed. I think collectively there is a lot of despair at the moment about the injustice in the world - you are far from alone in feeling that way.

    iIts great that you’re taking steps towards a diagnosis- the more we understand ourselves the better. In the meantime there is a great community on here who can totally relate to the things you describe. It can help to accept and embrace feelings of overwhelm - rather than feeling we ‘shouldn’t be feeling this way’ and fighting the feelings we are having. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, and ‘all things must pass’ - give it time and the feelings of panic and overwhelm will eventually natural lessen. The ‘fight or flight’ response (which is entirely natural and there for good purpose) is just a bit exaggerated in your system at the moment - but in time you can work on improving that using things like mindfulness. 

    There is undoubtedly a lot of injustice in the world - but try to accept that you can’t personally fight that right now! It’s a collective global issue and the answers are complex and long term - and dealing with those aspects of human nature and society will be going on for generations to come. You cannot carry the weight of the world’s problems on your shoulders! Try to reduce the amount of news etc that you’re watching - instead try to focus on things that nourish you and that you enjoy. Basically take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. 

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