College

How did it go? Hope you managed to get through the day!

Autismman said:

How did it go?

Nothing bad actually happened so I guess it went fine but it still didn’t feel fine.

I only had three class - first 2 right after eachother starting at 10:30, then the third was at 3. So I didn’t have to get up super early and wasn’t rushed. My first class was over 100 students and was loud but I thought I was listening well until a student asked a question about a reading we have before wensday which I didn’t know about (and still don’t) so then I started using my lecture recording accommodation. 
Then I walked to my next class but it was the wrong building so led to a cleaning closet, but I found someone to help me find the real place. That class we had to do group discussions and I actually participated (an accomplishment) but my group said they couldn’t hear me, and that made me upset since even when I can work past the anxiety, the communication differences, the selective mutism, then I still can’t communicate properly because I can’t control my volume. I will feel like I’m shouting but everyone hears a whisper.

Then I had lunch with my middle school friend. It was very crowded there and the pasta place wouldn’t come take my order so I got pizza instead but held up the line for like 5 minutes cause I couldn’t get the pizza slice off the rest of the pizza. Then I had to eat it with a fork and butter knife because that pizza was not normal and wouldn’t be eaten correctly (lol). Anyway, then I had 2 hours where I was gonna work on assignments till my last class but I ended up not being able to do anything since I was so dysregulated.

Went to last class and was in a shutdown. Had to introduce myself but couldn’t very well (because of shutdown, but again still accomplishment I could speak at all). The lights in there gave me a really bad headache that I still have now.

Went back to dorm but same friend as before wanted to play pool (8-ball? Billiards?), and that actually calmed a little bit. So then I thought I’d be fine to go to the festival in the grass area with my Roomate who invited me (since everyone at school keeps saying how important it is to get involved in activities) but I left after like 10 minutes cause I felt like I’d have a meltdown.

Then the verge of meltdown feeling stayed for the rest of the day and I was trying really hard not to have one, since mine are more stereotypical and I don’t want campus police called on me or something. Anyway I hid in the closet for hours since it’s dark, no one’s gonna go in there, and it’s small, and I decided to sleep there since I think it’s weird to have a roomate on the other side of the room who could watch me sleep.

Aand now it’s today. Luckly I only have one class today and it’s in a few more hours, but I still don’t feel great so not sure how I’m going to get work done and not get behind

Well that’s quite an eventful day, perhaps the chef needs sacking and the closet needs a bed in it? Hats off to you for striving on though, that’s real tough. What’s the end goal with the education? Any particular career in mind?

Well that’s quite an eventful day, perhaps the chef needs sacking and the closet needs a bed in it? Hats off to you for striving on though, that’s real tough. What’s the end goal with the education? Any particular career in mind?

You could use your own knowledge on autism to your advantage following onto a job with a degree in a related field. It’s much better to stay in education and pursue it as much as you can, I wish I had stayed longer at school. 

FrozenHeart said:

Today was better though. It was one class, a disability studies class, and the teacher student ratio is 1:6, the class is set up a lot better to my liking and the topics in the syllabus seem interesting. I also took a pretest today and I already knew the awnsers. 

 You're settling in already! You'll undoubtedly like some parts of your degree course more than others, but that's the same with everything in life.

Your disability studies class sounds pretty cool. Maybe you can post updates on what you're learning and teach us a thing or two.

I had a pillow in there

End goal… figuring out what to do with a degree I guess? Do somthing with autism?

I only applied for college because my grandparents kept pestering me and because I know two people there. Even though I originally planned to take a break from school for a year

Today was better though. It was one class, a disability studies class, and the teacher student ratio is 1:6, the class is set up a lot better to my liking and the topics in the syllabus seem interesting. I also took a pretest today and I already knew the awnsers.