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Summer depression

Elfilis

Bit more of a rant post but I just wanted to voice my feelings of summer. 

I struggle with all the high temperatures, if I open the windows I end up with bugs and insects in my place (can’t even get rid of wasps and so scared of them), I also end up hearing people screaming and shouting, loud car engines and people honking their horns just for the sake of it and it also stinks of smoke which makes me feel unwell! If I have my windows closed I’m slowly being cooked alive but even with the window open there isn’t any breeze, even if a night. I can never sleep or get comfortable either and if I do get to sleep I wake up multiple times in the night. When going out I feel I have to cover up because I’m an eyesore compared to everyone else and people seem to be so rude and arrogant. Plus everyone seems to have nice high end cars and stuff compared to what me and my parents have. In fact I don’t even know how to drive so I don’t have a car. Having work and renovations isn’t helping either and not to mention how rude they have been to me and mistreated my place. Plus I feel we have been ripped off. I also can’t do any exercise due to the heat but I keep thinking what’s the point anyway as I’m not worth it. 

I'm meant to be going on holiday next month but I’ll be honest I’m dreading the airports and flight! I’m also dreading what people will think of me when they see me. I never used to be like this but since my bullying and harassment at the workplace I can’t help but think I’m a poor thrump. He’s been very manipulative this bully and I am triggered all the time but I seem to struggle more in summer which leads to meltdowns and depression! I’m also crying when I see myself in any sort of reflection because of how awful I look. 

Does anyone relate to what I’m saying? 

Parents

  • The heat could be a sensory issue causing you even more discomfort and dis-regulation. This is especially uncomfortable if you cannot escape it and find a nice cool place. Are you in any sort of therapy for the issues with the bullying? I think bullying should be a crime in itself, however I don’t think we have enough judges available to deal with the toxicity of society.

  • in reply to Autismman

    Heat is deffo a sensory issue I can agree with you there! I can’t get the right temp at all and it’s worse in bed, either I’m too hot and sticky or I feel some what chilly when I have no quilts it’s so fussy for me lol. I have tried numerous therapies but nothing g seems to be helping, I have a drs appointment on Thursday so I might ask about what nhs have to offer if anything. Also started new meds so hopefully they help

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I think therapy can help a lot due to having someone outside the family circle to unload on and do so without judgement. The right therapist can help you make sense of your issues and view them from a different angle you perhaps may not have thought of yourself. I’ll never understand why people bully others in the first place and do so without any care for how it makes the other person feel. Is it a pack mentality where it’s accepted by the individuals (The bullies) because if everyone’s doing it I can to?. For one it’s a very immature thing to do, there’s a lot of talk of autistic people lacking empathy but we know wrong when we see it. 

  • in reply to Autismman

    Ugh A and E were useless with me as well. And the paramedics who came to see me the other weekend weren’t any more helpful, all I get are crisis numbers and charity run places and if I’m honest the places are in very rough areas so I won’t feel comfortable going as well there are a lot of crimes etc! I have considered complaining about the place I was referred to but it means getting involved with the local MPs and I’m not sure how helpful they’d be. Not trying to cause trouble here and I am only wanting a quick answer to this but wasn’t it the Labour Party who came up with the NHS? I don’t understand politics 

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  • in reply to Autismman

    Ugh A and E were useless with me as well. And the paramedics who came to see me the other weekend weren’t any more helpful, all I get are crisis numbers and charity run places and if I’m honest the places are in very rough areas so I won’t feel comfortable going as well there are a lot of crimes etc! I have considered complaining about the place I was referred to but it means getting involved with the local MPs and I’m not sure how helpful they’d be. Not trying to cause trouble here and I am only wanting a quick answer to this but wasn’t it the Labour Party who came up with the NHS? I don’t understand politics 

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