Summer depression

Bit more of a rant post but I just wanted to voice my feelings of summer. 

I struggle with all the high temperatures, if I open the windows I end up with bugs and insects in my place (can’t even get rid of wasps and so scared of them), I also end up hearing people screaming and shouting, loud car engines and people honking their horns just for the sake of it and it also stinks of smoke which makes me feel unwell! If I have my windows closed I’m slowly being cooked alive but even with the window open there isn’t any breeze, even if a night. I can never sleep or get comfortable either and if I do get to sleep I wake up multiple times in the night. When going out I feel I have to cover up because I’m an eyesore compared to everyone else and people seem to be so rude and arrogant. Plus everyone seems to have nice high end cars and stuff compared to what me and my parents have. In fact I don’t even know how to drive so I don’t have a car. Having work and renovations isn’t helping either and not to mention how rude they have been to me and mistreated my place. Plus I feel we have been ripped off. I also can’t do any exercise due to the heat but I keep thinking what’s the point anyway as I’m not worth it. 

I'm meant to be going on holiday next month but I’ll be honest I’m dreading the airports and flight! I’m also dreading what people will think of me when they see me. I never used to be like this but since my bullying and harassment at the workplace I can’t help but think I’m a poor thrump. He’s been very manipulative this bully and I am triggered all the time but I seem to struggle more in summer which leads to meltdowns and depression! I’m also crying when I see myself in any sort of reflection because of how awful I look. 

Does anyone relate to what I’m saying? 

Parents
  • Oh no, so the renovation didn’t go well?

    Also yes, summer is awful. I get seasonal depression in summer and winter, as I tell others: It’s at its worst during the solstices. I can’t wait for fall to start. We finally have a nice cool day here in the Midwest today after months of baking, so it’s giving me a taste of fall a bit early.

  • Aww the fall season can just be so beautiful and as you say just the perfect temperature and I also find it super cozy! For me it’s hot over in the north of uk but apparently the temperatures are finally meant to be dropping from tomorrow. It’s also bank holiday today so it’s super annoying and noisy. 

    No the renovations haven’t gone well at all. The workers have mistreated my place and left it a mess, they have smoked in my place so my flat stinks of smoke, they keep ordering the wrong stuff and they keep asking me to do some work to save them work. The job was only meant to take two weeks and it’s now the fourth week and still not near completion. There’s been no communication with them either and now they have decided to go on holiday. But I can’t swap or get other workers due to the stupid contract. They said they had a team of workers who worked for the company but they don’t ugh

  • Whoa that sounds horrid. Having your place stink of smoke is awful and I’m so sorry. So you’re still at your family’s place?

  • Well I like her songs, especially shake it off and blank space. I remember going to Liverpool one time when she was hosting her concert later on that day, omg there were so many fans with all her merch and everything! She is one of the few singers I actually enjoy. Can’t say I’ve heard of many other songs, they all seem to be older songs playing now

  • Cruel summer is also the first song on the lover album

    i knownsome of you here Dont like Tay Tay but the haters Gunna hate hate hate hate hate lol

    while I remember too my team leader last night heard blank space come on an without missing a beat went “what’s this” and seeing my face light up she went and the same time j did “it’s taayyyy taaaayyy” 

    i also told a customer who’s never heard here songs to listen to some 

  • lol I get it, shake it offJoy wish I could do that! 

  • This summer has been way too hot you could say it’s a cruel summer 

    but I’ll just shake it off 

    mabie im the problem it’s me 

  • Aww thank you for your kind words! I’ve just been taking my chances of leaving the windows open to remove the smell and I’ve also used wax melts and diffusers with cents of either lavender or even baby powder oil which is actually really nice! Once everyone is gone I will have a good proper clean again but will need to steam and use the carpet cleaners! Think my parents are going to deduct money for the poor service but not sure. Might give the walls a sponge down myself too. 

  • Wish we could just decorate like in animal crossing

    I know right?! That’d be so much better. Just toss a leaf on the ground and wham, you’ve got a new set up.

    I’d let your landlord know ahead of time about the rubbish in your sinks. They might be more understanding if there ends up being leaks/clogs if you warn them ahead of time. When I once got an apartment that smelled strongly like smoke we fixed the issue by sponging down the walls gently. 

    Well, I’m still wishing you the best. Keep reminding yourself that it can’t last forever and someday soon you’ll be back in your home.

  • I’m at my nans flat whilst she’s at her caravan but I just want to be back in mine as I just feel out of a routine! I mean I don’t mind if I’m out of routine or things get altered etc but when things like this drag out it’s so distressing! I just want to do all my exercise games and maybe start a new fresh routine! But I’ll have to get rid of the smoke smell first but that’s not going to be until everyone has gone. I have put signs up which they have got offended by and also they keep throwing rubbish down the sinks, bath and toilet which is annoying as my bathroom is new as well and the things they throw down can clog my drains and I’m not no doubt going to be responsible for leaks! I tried to convince my parents to swap to an other company but annoying they had signed a contract so we can’t pull out. Wish we could just decorate like in animal crossing

Reply
  • I’m at my nans flat whilst she’s at her caravan but I just want to be back in mine as I just feel out of a routine! I mean I don’t mind if I’m out of routine or things get altered etc but when things like this drag out it’s so distressing! I just want to do all my exercise games and maybe start a new fresh routine! But I’ll have to get rid of the smoke smell first but that’s not going to be until everyone has gone. I have put signs up which they have got offended by and also they keep throwing rubbish down the sinks, bath and toilet which is annoying as my bathroom is new as well and the things they throw down can clog my drains and I’m not no doubt going to be responsible for leaks! I tried to convince my parents to swap to an other company but annoying they had signed a contract so we can’t pull out. Wish we could just decorate like in animal crossing

Children
  • Well I like her songs, especially shake it off and blank space. I remember going to Liverpool one time when she was hosting her concert later on that day, omg there were so many fans with all her merch and everything! She is one of the few singers I actually enjoy. Can’t say I’ve heard of many other songs, they all seem to be older songs playing now

  • Cruel summer is also the first song on the lover album

    i knownsome of you here Dont like Tay Tay but the haters Gunna hate hate hate hate hate lol

    while I remember too my team leader last night heard blank space come on an without missing a beat went “what’s this” and seeing my face light up she went and the same time j did “it’s taayyyy taaaayyy” 

    i also told a customer who’s never heard here songs to listen to some 

  • lol I get it, shake it offJoy wish I could do that! 

  • This summer has been way too hot you could say it’s a cruel summer 

    but I’ll just shake it off 

    mabie im the problem it’s me 

  • Aww thank you for your kind words! I’ve just been taking my chances of leaving the windows open to remove the smell and I’ve also used wax melts and diffusers with cents of either lavender or even baby powder oil which is actually really nice! Once everyone is gone I will have a good proper clean again but will need to steam and use the carpet cleaners! Think my parents are going to deduct money for the poor service but not sure. Might give the walls a sponge down myself too. 

  • Wish we could just decorate like in animal crossing

    I know right?! That’d be so much better. Just toss a leaf on the ground and wham, you’ve got a new set up.

    I’d let your landlord know ahead of time about the rubbish in your sinks. They might be more understanding if there ends up being leaks/clogs if you warn them ahead of time. When I once got an apartment that smelled strongly like smoke we fixed the issue by sponging down the walls gently. 

    Well, I’m still wishing you the best. Keep reminding yourself that it can’t last forever and someday soon you’ll be back in your home.