How do you communicate to others?

1. If talking only IRL, then it’s basically equally hard with relatives, friends, and strangers. But there are a few friends and relatives who I’m close enough with where it’s easier, then 4 of my immediate family I’m most relaxed with (especially my youngest sibling).

With the people I feel as strangers (regardless of their relation to me as family or friend) I have slow processing speed and usually cant enter a conversation unless I’m directly asked a question and giving time, attention, and silence to respond. The replies tend to be short and I’ll shrug a lot when my awnser/thoughts are more complex for me to be able to explain in the circumstances. I can’t control my volume so speak very quietly and sometimes I have a verbal shutdown (or a regular shutdown).

With close friends or family, I still speak quietly and have shutdowns but they’re less frequent, and also slow processing speed. But I’m more able to enter conversation without being asked a question, and I can explain my thoughts better. I essentially need it to be one on one or maybe two otherwise my skills go back to how I am with a stranger.

Then my mom and siblings I’m most able to communicate the best around. I can quote movies and make silly sounds and my siblings understand, I can also infodump for hours to my mom. But I also get frustrated easily when I try to explain somthing and I can’t word it the way I want or they don’t understand and that can cause meltdowns (which doesn’t happen with the other groups since I don’t try to explain things).

2. I mask quite a lot - and by mask I mean hide traits, I’m not as successful with to the other two parts of camouflage. A big thing I’d struggle with is the verbal shutdowns but I’ve realized that if I avoid eye contact when I’m actually speaking and if I stim more (I’m always stimming but do more subtle ones in public) then I’m les likely to have my voice fail me.

3. I’m much better at online and written communication. Although I end up going over the word limit on most sites… I like how I can take time to thoroughly explain and how there’s no time limit waiting for a reply (unless it’s a group chat then I struggle more). People also tend to interrupt before I can finish explaining my full thought, then I have to respond to their new statements plus try to remember my old ones. Like in this posts prompt for example, IRL I would have said maybe the first few sentences (assuming I didn’t just say idk) then they’d ask a follow up question which would derail everything. But here I can awnser all the parts at once, in the way I want, then anyone with questions or input can write that all at once, then I can respond again all at once…it’s much better. It also removes any need to mask physically and need to pay attention to body language and other surroundings which gets overwhelming quickly.

4. I don’t think I got actually bullied since I was 16, besides occasional comments online but they’re random ppl who I’ll probably never get the chance to interact with again. But people somtimes do more infantilizing type stuff. Like baby voice or like the other day when we played a game at college and whenever someone got out everyone would laugh (together not at), but when I would get out they’d just say “oh sorry, good effort” - it’s not mean but it’s not the same treatment everyone else was getting. Some other things might seem like infantilizing to other people but are actually helpful for me though, like when someone asks me a question while illustration some possible awnsers is easier for me. Example “was your weekend good or bad?” Vs “how was your weekend?” In situations with stranger-esque people then I usually will awnser by stealing words provided, everything else just is forgotten from my mind, which is why I can’t usually explain complex things and just shrug 

1. If talking only IRL, then it’s basically equally hard with relatives, friends, and strangers. But there are a few friends and relatives who I’m close enough with where it’s easier, then 4 of my immediate family I’m most relaxed with (especially my youngest sibling).

With the people I feel as strangers (regardless of their relation to me as family or friend) I have slow processing speed and usually cant enter a conversation unless I’m directly asked a question and giving time, attention, and silence to respond. The replies tend to be short and I’ll shrug a lot when my awnser/thoughts are more complex for me to be able to explain in the circumstances. I can’t control my volume so speak very quietly and sometimes I have a verbal shutdown (or a regular shutdown).

With close friends or family, I still speak quietly and have shutdowns but they’re less frequent, and also slow processing speed. But I’m more able to enter conversation without being asked a question, and I can explain my thoughts better. I essentially need it to be one on one or maybe two otherwise my skills go back to how I am with a stranger.

Then my mom and siblings I’m most able to communicate the best around. I can quote movies and make silly sounds and my siblings understand, I can also infodump for hours to my mom. But I also get frustrated easily when I try to explain somthing and I can’t word it the way I want or they don’t understand and that can cause meltdowns (which doesn’t happen with the other groups since I don’t try to explain things).

2. I mask quite a lot - and by mask I mean hide traits, I’m not as successful with to the other two parts of camouflage. A big thing I’d struggle with is the verbal shutdowns but I’ve realized that if I avoid eye contact when I’m actually speaking and if I stim more (I’m always stimming but do more subtle ones in public) then I’m les likely to have my voice fail me.

3. I’m much better at online and written communication. Although I end up going over the word limit on most sites… I like how I can take time to thoroughly explain and how there’s no time limit waiting for a reply (unless it’s a group chat then I struggle more). People also tend to interrupt before I can finish explaining my full thought, then I have to respond to their new statements plus try to remember my old ones. Like in this posts prompt for example, IRL I would have said maybe the first few sentences (assuming I didn’t just say idk) then they’d ask a follow up question which would derail everything. But here I can awnser all the parts at once, in the way I want, then anyone with questions or input can write that all at once, then I can respond again all at once…it’s much better. It also removes any need to mask physically and need to pay attention to body language and other surroundings which gets overwhelming quickly.

4. I don’t think I got actually bullied since I was 16, besides occasional comments online but they’re random ppl who I’ll probably never get the chance to interact with again. But people somtimes do more infantilizing type stuff. Like baby voice or like the other day when we played a game at college and whenever someone got out everyone would laugh (together not at), but when I would get out they’d just say “oh sorry, good effort” - it’s not mean but it’s not the same treatment everyone else was getting. Some other things might seem like infantilizing to other people but are actually helpful for me though, like when someone asks me a question while illustration some possible awnsers is easier for me. Example “was your weekend good or bad?” Vs “how was your weekend?” In situations with stranger-esque people then I usually will awnser by stealing words provided, everything else just is forgotten from my mind, which is why I can’t usually explain complex things and just shrug