Life is about taking risks and seizing opportunities. I find myself feel as if I’m avoiding taking risks all the time, but still impulsive enough to put myself in situations that don’t suit me. It’s a weird contradiction.
There’s my thoughts and opinions, which I feel as if have lost their sharpness, and it feels more of a situation of code switching to the environment. I hide opinions I feel will be a burden to others and try to comfort everyone’s needs, and the perception that I haven’t suited everyone’s needs in the past keep me in a state of self-hate.
Good thing is that I’m slowly starting to face these things. It’s so difficult, and it’s hard to convey to people what I want to say, rather than the polished version of events. I guess we keep on moving.