Did you think you were autistic before someone suggested it?

I had no clue at all before my daughter's CBT therapist suggested that she might be autistic and that I, from my daughter's description of me, might also be autistic.

I thought that I was a bit different from the norm, but that probably most people had similar thoughts about themselves. I considered that I was very introverted, shy and rather sensitive. My bouts of selective mutism at infant school and my off-scale revulsion at touching nylon and other synthetic fabrics might have been a bit of a giveaway. In my mid twenties I did realise that my complete inability to initiate any romantic relationship was down to something being awry in me, rather than all the young women I had been in contact with. I recognised that I had no ability to work out if I was attractive or otherwise to anyone. I was missing some sort of signalling that was apparent to everyone else. I did some research into non-verbal communication and became able to decode the signalling to some extent.

The problem was that as a member of the general public, with no apparent contact with autism and autistic people, I had a vague and incorrect idea of what autism was. My concept of autism was based on Dustin Hoffman's portrayal in the film 'Rain Man', the musically or visually artistic savant and the idea of the child sitting in a corner not interacting with anyone. None of these stereotypes fitted me, so why should I consider that I might be autistic? I had also never done any of the more obvious stims, never rocked or flapped my hands. As a child I did spin around more than average, and I have always fiddled with small objects - clicking pens and so forth - but did not recognise them to be stims before I was tipped off that I might be autistic. Another reason I had no clue about my autistic status.

I had no clue at all before my daughter's CBT therapist suggested that she might be autistic and that I, from my daughter's description of me, might also be autistic.

I thought that I was a bit different from the norm, but that probably most people had similar thoughts about themselves. I considered that I was very introverted, shy and rather sensitive. My bouts of selective mutism at infant school and my off-scale revulsion at touching nylon and other synthetic fabrics might have been a bit of a giveaway. In my mid twenties I did realise that my complete inability to initiate any romantic relationship was down to something being awry in me, rather than all the young women I had been in contact with. I recognised that I had no ability to work out if I was attractive or otherwise to anyone. I was missing some sort of signalling that was apparent to everyone else. I did some research into non-verbal communication and became able to decode the signalling to some extent.

The problem was that as a member of the general public, with no apparent contact with autism and autistic people, I had a vague and incorrect idea of what autism was. My concept of autism was based on Dustin Hoffman's portrayal in the film 'Rain Man', the musically or visually artistic savant and the idea of the child sitting in a corner not interacting with anyone. None of these stereotypes fitted me, so why should I consider that I might be autistic? I had also never done any of the more obvious stims, never rocked or flapped my hands. As a child I did spin around more than average, and I have always fiddled with small objects - clicking pens and so forth - but did not recognise them to be stims before I was tipped off that I might be autistic. Another reason I had no clue about my autistic status.

That's like looking in a mirror, Martin!

Has there been any change in your stimming behaviours since your epiphany? I'm much more stimmy than I used to be.