Did you think you were autistic before someone suggested it?

Yes that seems to be true, everything I am finding posted by you and others on this forum is really helpful. Big thanks to all of you and I am for once looking forward to being part of a community that doesn't condemn my oddity

Gadfly said:

It was only when a member of my family was diagnosed, and info-dumped me about it all that I gave it some more thought

That's so sweet. Authentic Autistic communication in action. You probably got little hints and nudges from NTs over the years, but it took an ND to just lay it all out for you in a way you could easily understand.

It took me 22 years from diagnosis to acceptance, so don't beat yourself up about it taking 7 years. There is so much more high-quality information available directly from Autistic people now than there was back then.

No.

But I went for a long time with question marks left unanswered.Its who you are so nothing is unatural to you only how others relate, react and treat you. If someone had truly observed this happening. Its how people react to you, there is a lot of ignorance and apathy in the world. This annoys me so much because these are people who run organisations and schools and care providers but they really care very little to look a closer.

Innadvertantly there was a degree of discrimination in all that lead me to identify with being different.Not being invited to other childrens parties etc. I think there were red flags all along the way through childhood and eduction, which professionals and family chose to ignore or dismiss for whatever reason. Times that were really tense for me I remember others were quite quick to label me as disruptive. I'd also say that with what I know now looking back there was a degree of exploitative behaviour by other parents and their children. This is kind of how I observe the work place, fuil of children very few professionals (grown ups).

I have trust issues and not because of a specific event. I observed how in schools and the workplace how people are manipulating each other, I was acutely aware of this from a young age. 

I was told 7 years ago by a professional that I had high traits of ASD, I was not ready to listen then.

It was only when a member of my family was diagnosed, and info-dumped me about it all that I gave it some more thought and could clearly see all the signs pointing towards neurodivergence, so I started looking at ADHD and ASD. 2 months on and I have piles of information about myself and neurodivergence and am currently enjoying putting together the puzzle. 

I like you thought was right and everyone else was wrong and to an extent still do

I explained it to my therapist in our first session that I felt like an alien, as no one else on earth seemed to think about things the way that I did. 

With the evidence mounting now I do wonder why it took me so long to even look into it, all I know is I spent my entire formative years wondering what was wrong with me and being told that things were easy I just had to try harder, tying shoelaces for instance. But with other things I was always told that I was beyond my years, I could debate adults with reason and logic by the time I was 9 or 10 but if I did corner them in the exchange they would simply call me troublesome or naughty and hand out a punishment.

Point is I was always focusing too much at what everyone else was saying, pointing out these traits as failures and the last thing I wanted was to just be a rubbish human so I ignored the signs. 

I am midlife now just starting my journey for answers but this has been my experience.

In answer to your question No, I didn't even think about it before I did, but I am now glad I did

I have not been diagnosted but my wife suggested this last year and really I should've considered it given one of my kids is diagnosed autistic.   We'd already worked out I have alexithymia and there are many other signs.  My autistic kid said to me once that he was sure I was autistic too and my other kids recently suggested during a family argument. 

I can't remember anyone suggesting it.

I had been thinking for years that I had autistic traits but my  decision to get assessed crystallized after watching "Astrid: Murder in Paris" as the main character showed many of the same traits that I had (although I'm not as sensitive to sounds).

I then had a look at the NHS NICE guidance for autism assessments, worked through the AQ10 screening questions, then as the Adult Asperger Assessment seemed the most appropriate I downloaded the research paper (the link from the NICE website is to a paid for research paper - however I found it was also available for free via other websites) and worked through the questions, then added up my score which showed I had slightly more points than were needed to give a diagnosis.

As the assessment needs to be done by a Psychologist I then asked my GP to refer me for an assessment - I was sent the AQ10 to complete and was then referred - sometime later I was assessed using ADI-R and ADOS and got the formal assessment and diagnosis.

It's so sad that many of us suffer a lot before finding out that for the most part we are fine, and that many external effects (which end up written in our brains) have caused much of the depression and related mental health issues.

I decided to live very far from most family members; their pressure for me to meet social norms / expectations was so painful. And they do not even know about it. It would be worse for me to come out as autistic, I will have to do it slowly, spread across many years.

I have always known I was different and although liked by others I was always the extra person at school rather than the main friend. 
I have self harmed since teenage years, been told I have anxiety and depression on and off since that time. I have quite alot of sensory sensitivities and enjoy being on my own a lot of the time.  I did some reading and wondered if I had ADHD but it’s only recently I have looked into being autistic, and I haven’t stopped reading about it for a couple of months! I have made folders full of information on autism  I can relate to, and enjoy reading them over and over. I have done this before with other topics, and can remember doing something similar as a child. I am awaiting assessment, but having done quite a few of the questionnaires, I score really highly.  I’m pretty convinced I am autistic and am trying to look at ways to unmask to help myself cope with life easier.  I don’t understand how I have gone under the radar really.

Got the T Shirt.. 

Worn it to shreds over the years .. In fact I have just written a complaint to the PHSO saying and I quote...

"This came as a surprise to me. I always thought I was normal and that everyone else was at fault"

It would be funny if it were not so tragic.. 

I knew I had mental health issues, with bouts of depression and near constant severe anxiety for most of my life, but just believed it was what ever the mental health folk had "diagnosed" at the time. First it was Generalised Anxiety Disorder, then OCPD, but none of these really explained all my symptoms and medication was of very limited to no help and just made me feel number and disconnected.

It wasn't until last year and a new GP and a new mental health worker that things changed. Basically I had tried nearly every medication on offer, something that previous GPs had "overlooked", and the new mental health worker who had some experience with autism. I'm now receiving help to work out new coping strategies and generally explaining the nuances of being on the spectrum.

Being autistic explains all of the disparities of that other theories never did, such as the dislike of loud or intrusive noises, bright lights, certain physical sensations, a reluctance for too much physical contact with others, and finally why I always felt like an outsider in society.

Ironically when I mention the autism to a friend, who was diagnosed with Asperger's, she said she had her suspicions for a while. An ex-colleague and friend, when asked what she thought replied, "I thought it was bl**dy obvious!".

I'm now starting to feel comfortable about being on the spectrum, and somehow freer.  I am learning what I'm like unmasked, and who I might actually be as a person. I certainly stim much more and it's helping me navigate stressful situations more successfully.

I must say that my small circle of friends have all been so supportive, and I guess it has explained some of what might otherwise be described as quirks.

Hello stevejon

It's great that you're sharing your experience, however would just like to draw attention to rule 12.

Rule 12: No Sales or Advertisements. Do not join the forum to sell products or services. You can share recommendations but mention if they are affiliate links.

I have edited your post to remove the link. Any questions please get in touch at CommunityManager@nas.org.uk

All the best, 

Katrina Mod

Zippo lighters also make great stim toys when you are out of earshot of others. Maybe it's the added element of danger that heightens the experience...

This is interesting I did not suspect it myself. It was my friend (also recently diagnosed) said to me something along we were very similar or our brain work similar or something which made me stop for a minute. I always like the initial writer thought I was normal just with a bit of a quirk but that what I was experience everyone experience or so I thought. But I also was deemed a bit different in the UK coming originally from Germany a bit more frank and to the point I got away with it and again fitted the steroetype of the 'normal German'. No I am diagnosed I feed like they got it wrong yet the more I read about the more I am slowly untangling this mess which is my head right now. 

I didn't think about it until my fifties when a few work colleagues said they are autistic and there were a couple of talks about autism at work, so I became aware of the thing. Nobody suggested it to me; people seemed to assume that since I'm Finnish it's natural that I don't speak a lot (in reality Finns tend to speak as much as Brits if not more). I started suspecting that I might be autistic and took a few online tests which all gave me high scores. So I strongly suspected it before the assessment.

My mum and I always said we were aliens as well :) I still like that term though! Aliens are great and there are many different kinds of alien

On one one occasion I could not find fault with an object being confiscated by my wife. I have never smoked, but was given a free disposable lighter at the end of a meal at a restaurant in Paris. A sparking wheel and a button, wheee! I managed to set my hand and jacket pocket alight - briefly. The lighter disappeared very quickly.

I had absolutely no clue. I always knew I was different and later I got diagnosed with all kinds of mental health conditions none of which really seemed to fit and noone really seemed to get me but I never suspected. Even when it was first suggested I was very skeptical as I didn’t know anything about autism except some stereotypes and I was tired of diagnoses at this point and it just felt like it would be the next useless label in a long list of labels that I had acquired. But when I started researching autism and connecting to other autistic individuals it started to make so so much sense and I am extremely grateful to the person who first pointed out that I might be autistic 

Once you get into the swing of it, it's hard to stop. It just seems so natural.

I've never really done much. But I tried flapping my hands and it actually felt quite calming.