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Did you think you were autistic before someone suggested it?

Stuart333

I'm curious whether you can see it in yourself. I thought I was right and everyone else was wrong.

I suspected I was different, but squashed it, I was just extra normal. I couldn't figure out why I was confused and had bouts of depression,

I just wanted to know what was holding me back, why I had some atypical depression, and whether there was something up with how I communicated.

But there was no need for an autism test. I wasn't autistic surely.

Except the psychologists thought otherwise, 3 of them. I even argued with them, a sign in itself probably.

So did you guess, before someone suggested a screening test? Maybe the internet makes it more likely these days, but you need a reason to go looking.

Parents

  • I had no idea, what autism was, from my mom's words it was supposed to be a mental sickness,  where the person affected does one movement or one noise all tge time and is a genius at math. I've never been genius at math. Making one thing all the time kinda fits me, but its not that obvious,  because it's not doing one sound all the time, it's more complex and it includes creative works or reading book etc.

    I feel so deeply different from my peers, that I knew that im different.  For me different,  non standard, means inferior.  Especially,  because I was always slower to pick up on things or could not at all, also clumsiness, awkwardness etc. Made me grow up with self hate, feeling of inferiority and I was long convinced,  that I have a depression since birth. 

    I also remember,  that teachers in my primary school suggested to my mom, I might be autistic.  I had selective mutism,  because of overwhelm at school, I usually didn't react when being called, and had a very bad emotional reaction,  when teachers forced me to play with my peers during a break. I still remember it as something traumatic,  I was scared of the noise and chaos they made. 

    It didn't come to my mind, that it might be autism,  since I found it accidentally in the Internet.  But I always felt there is something wrong. I was diagnosed multiple times with depression (because of the low self esteem) and also medicated with no success. 

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  • I had no idea, what autism was, from my mom's words it was supposed to be a mental sickness,  where the person affected does one movement or one noise all tge time and is a genius at math. I've never been genius at math. Making one thing all the time kinda fits me, but its not that obvious,  because it's not doing one sound all the time, it's more complex and it includes creative works or reading book etc.

    I feel so deeply different from my peers, that I knew that im different.  For me different,  non standard, means inferior.  Especially,  because I was always slower to pick up on things or could not at all, also clumsiness, awkwardness etc. Made me grow up with self hate, feeling of inferiority and I was long convinced,  that I have a depression since birth. 

    I also remember,  that teachers in my primary school suggested to my mom, I might be autistic.  I had selective mutism,  because of overwhelm at school, I usually didn't react when being called, and had a very bad emotional reaction,  when teachers forced me to play with my peers during a break. I still remember it as something traumatic,  I was scared of the noise and chaos they made. 

    It didn't come to my mind, that it might be autism,  since I found it accidentally in the Internet.  But I always felt there is something wrong. I was diagnosed multiple times with depression (because of the low self esteem) and also medicated with no success. 

Children