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Did you think you were autistic before someone suggested it?

Stuart333

I'm curious whether you can see it in yourself. I thought I was right and everyone else was wrong.

I suspected I was different, but squashed it, I was just extra normal. I couldn't figure out why I was confused and had bouts of depression,

I just wanted to know what was holding me back, why I had some atypical depression, and whether there was something up with how I communicated.

But there was no need for an autism test. I wasn't autistic surely.

Except the psychologists thought otherwise, 3 of them. I even argued with them, a sign in itself probably.

So did you guess, before someone suggested a screening test? Maybe the internet makes it more likely these days, but you need a reason to go looking.

Parents

  • I really didn’t see it in myself in any serious way, I figured that for reasons unknown it was just how I functioned. Sure I felt different and couldn’t fit into groups but I always made excuses like I’m tired or just not feeling it today or I’m an introvert and nothing more. I wouldn’t even suspect autism when I felt uncomfortable and possibly even angry that someone was trying to interfere or change the plans I’d made for myself. I had a lot of signs but never linked them to anything other than a habitual way of being. I still have imposter syndrome that comes in waves, I am not what I believed autism to be. Perhaps I really am still under educated about it. 

  • in reply to Autismman

    I'm not use how old you are Autismman, but could it be because autism wasn't recognised for so long, that it just never occured to an older age group that we could be autistic?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Growing up in the 70s and 80s I thought it was rare, for people that really struggled. In the 90s I thought it maybe included exceptional bit awkward people too. Didn't seem to be me.

    Also I was brought up to just get on with things and not complain, or cry. And I was isolated with minimal contact with relatives. So being on my own most of the time didn't seem odd.

    Also even recently people at work said I wasn't. I guess my masking works except for those in the know.

    I've never been able to take being hugged by my parents, as a kid or adult. The thought of being hugged made me dissociate in Jan, part of a number issues that led to me being here. 

  • in reply to Homebird
    Homebird said:
    I now find everyday life a lot harder, so when I can I make adjustments. I think I am exhausted now from years of masking.

    I'm in the same boat. I've been burned out for a year, but still trying to keep things together and put one foot in front of the other. I've slowed the pace and lowered expectations and not held it against myself, which is some comfort. Learning more about what going on in my head has also been a big help.

  • in reply to Homebird

    Can also be age. Doing more as you get older is less easy. You generally hide it by being smarter, but if you just have to do more it is harder.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    I can relate to this. I remember my Mum being surprised I didn't like being hugged.

    I had a similar experience at work when I mentioned to a colleague I thought I was autistic.

    I think I managed for years by masking and just thought I had difficulty interacting easily. It is only in later life, after reading up on it and my son being diagnosed that I realized I was likely autistic. I now find everyday life a lot harder, so when I can I make adjustments. I think I am exhausted now from years of masking. Recently I have been in a situation where I have had to do a lot more and find it much more difficult.

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  • in reply to Stuart333

    I can relate to this. I remember my Mum being surprised I didn't like being hugged.

    I had a similar experience at work when I mentioned to a colleague I thought I was autistic.

    I think I managed for years by masking and just thought I had difficulty interacting easily. It is only in later life, after reading up on it and my son being diagnosed that I realized I was likely autistic. I now find everyday life a lot harder, so when I can I make adjustments. I think I am exhausted now from years of masking. Recently I have been in a situation where I have had to do a lot more and find it much more difficult.

Children