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Question about stimming

dbillyd

Hi, 

My 17 year old son has an autism diagnosis and I recently noticed an increase in his stimming when we go to watch football matches together. He will intermittently rock back and forth in his seat and shake his hands. 

Whilst I have no problem with the stimming itself, I realise that with him being 17 he is drawing attention to himself. I've heard that a lot of autistic adults can manage their stimming when out in public, but he told his mum that a lot of the time he's not aware that he's doing it. 

I was wondering if there are any tools or interventions he can use to reduce the stimming in public? Would something like a stress ball that he could squeeze help? 

Anyone have any experience in the area? 

Thanks in advance for your help. 

Parents

  • There are so many different things which can be regulating for an Autistic person and could be described as stimming.

    I use different techniques depending upon where I am and how I am coping.

    Some techniques are silent and less visible - but that is not about the perception of other people.

    Sometimes people can assume stimming is about a negative situation - but that is not the whole story either - as there are some stims I might only use as part of experiencing Autistic joy.

    Some very "ordinary" activities can be part of stimming for Autistic people e.g. doodling.

    Noticing some of my stims can help me to dial-in better to where my: mind / emotions / stress /:energy / self-care / safeguarding alert needs might be - like a display dial - in a way I cannot more directly access otherwise.

    For me, the greater part of stimming csn be about actually giving my mind more to do to facilitate my concentration or relaxation (say; in a meeting, training course, waiting somewhere).

    It can be helpful to change the terminology as it can influence how you think about it- stimming versus self-stimulating versus self-regulating.

    Another important point: repressing / suppressing stimming can be a feature of masking to "fit in".  Masking can be harmful to good mental health for Autistic people (more about masking via the last link).

    Some resources which may express stimming more clearly:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/about-autism/repeated-movements-and-behaviour-stimming

    https://www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/health-and-lifestyle/stimming/

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/masking

  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    I agree. I grew up not stimming at all because it would have looked odd, I was self-conscious and I was in an environment where it would have been pointed out to me that I was doing something "wrong". Now I stim a lot at home and it feels great. For example, flapping my hand in front of my eyes really helps me to clear my thoughts and move on to something else. It's a much simpler, more effective and stress-free alternative to trying to do the same thing entirely without moving.

    I'm trying to get over my inhibitions, so that I can stim in public for my own benefit and to hell with the naysayers. If they feel uncomfortable, it's their problem ... or so I intend to tell myself. I aspire to do what 's son is doing. He's my hero! Thumbsup man superhero

  • in reply to Damojo

    Thanks for the advice. You're right - I'm going to leave it for now. It's not causing anyone any harm, so I'll let him continue to stim at football matches. It'll be interesting to see how he gets on at college and if anyone mentions it to him. To be fair, in certain situations he doesn't really stim very much - in restaurants for example. 

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  • in reply to Damojo

    Thanks for the advice. You're right - I'm going to leave it for now. It's not causing anyone any harm, so I'll let him continue to stim at football matches. It'll be interesting to see how he gets on at college and if anyone mentions it to him. To be fair, in certain situations he doesn't really stim very much - in restaurants for example. 

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