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Why Did Number Leave This Place?

Number

Dear Fellow Online Community users,

NAS purport to encourage the adult autistic community to share and talk here ...... albeit within RULES which they set ..... which is obviously both essential and fair enough.

However, NAS also readily, happily, shamelessly and without ANY warning, simply terminate any such discussions at will, even when they READILY and OPENLY CONFIRM that no rules are being broken WHATSOEVER at that point THEY choose to terminate a discussion.

If adult autists can't discuss what's on their minds HERE.......then what - LITERALLY - is the point of having an 18+ adult-only autistic COMMUNITY forum space?

If we are given rules to abide by, and abide by them, but are also subject to unilateral and unjustified termination of our discussions.....then there is ZERO hope for this place?

With utter disgust, and disbelief (again - within the space of 24 hours.......when I'm not even "here" any more!)

Number.

PS - I CERTAINLY don't want to discuss pornography in this place.......but I WILL defend the rights of those who do wish to do so, within the rules set by Der current Management!!

PPS - If you mistake the above for hyperbole - please take a look at the (now locked thread) entitled "What do you think about pornography from Autistic perspective."

Next-level Shameful !?

Parents

  • I'll be radical and say I find this sort of thread more problematic than threads about any topic. A discussion of rules or principles is fine. I like rules. I''m not keen on conflict, but attacks on the person and not the idea should be against the rules and subject the moderation anyway.

    But dis-harmony and people threatening to leave creates a poor tone. Perhaps I am overly sensitive to it, or I misread the situation.

    It is a trait to pick up on emotions. Perhaps it is emotional contagion, hyper empathy, or problems with emotional regulation, but it causes more unease and a desire to leave too.

    Problems with social interaction and communication after all are two of the key requirements in the autism definition.

Reply

  • I'll be radical and say I find this sort of thread more problematic than threads about any topic. A discussion of rules or principles is fine. I like rules. I''m not keen on conflict, but attacks on the person and not the idea should be against the rules and subject the moderation anyway.

    But dis-harmony and people threatening to leave creates a poor tone. Perhaps I am overly sensitive to it, or I misread the situation.

    It is a trait to pick up on emotions. Perhaps it is emotional contagion, hyper empathy, or problems with emotional regulation, but it causes more unease and a desire to leave too.

    Problems with social interaction and communication after all are two of the key requirements in the autism definition.

Children
  • in reply to Stuart333

    I dislike rules, but I'm not OK with conflict, although I do believe in a public forum there should be rules on what can and can't be said, I just think that here they're often interpreted to strictly. We are adults and we need to talk about adult things just as much as on any other fora, but from our ND view point. We should be allowed to disagree and not to agree because we don't actually have an opinion yet. I find the words that get blocked irritating, I had one recently when talking about the words used by someone else to my daughter and I, it was a nasty word, used in a nasty context, but I'm unsure if censorship in this instance was needed.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    I agree with all you say...and don't find it radical in anyway....and I wholly agree that this sort of thread IS DEFO more problematic than any other type of thread.  I mean - where the hell does one "hope" to go with this?!

    Hyper empathy is a problem I share with you Stuart333.....and it is PRECISELY because of this, that I have VERY reluctantly raised this thread here.

    My thinking (and motivation for entering this VERY uncomfortable territory for me, and people you like and me)...is this;

    I can readily imagine needing to DESPERATELY talk about pornography with my peers and kin-folk, if that were to be the "thing" that was causing me distress.....or frankly, if it was just a subject I was interested in exploring with them.  If that was the case, then I would ensure (like they did) that the topic was clearly displayed, so everyone knew NOT to visit if it was likely to upset them.....and then I would hope to be able just to chat away, with anyone who felt they wanted to contribute or join in.

    However, if - all of a sudden - I found my queries or interests deemed "unworthy for safe and further discussion" then I would feel undermined, potentially feel misplaced shame and potentially be tempted to leave.

    If someone adheres by the rules here, acts responsibly, and raises a legitimate and safe discussion then that should SURELY be allowed to play-out?

    Whilst you (I presume) have hyper empathy for the herd + the offended party (who kindly raised their hand cogently below)....I have hyper empathy for the people who chose to start and join the discussion that has [by their OWN rules, standards and admission] been summarily terminated by NAS......and I think that is both unfair, and damaging.

    One thing that cause ME autistic distress is UNFAIRNESS.  I see that it has been creeping in to this place in a pervasive and damaging way.  I KNOW that people are leaving because of that Zeitgeist ...... and I am only trying to bring some reasoned debate and observation to the table.

    I am sorry if this is not clear, or you cannot understand my reasoning as above.

    Rest assured, I have no umbridge towards you in any event.....but I trust you can at least understand the logic of the position I hold.