Feeling left out regardless of how people are with me

Would you consider yourself more of an observer than a joiner in? I often feel more like I am noticing how people interact with each other as a detached observer than as an active participant. I never feel part of a crowd but merely present in the same place as a crowd. I have always felt like this but only since realising I was autistic did I understand why. It always confused me how everyone else seemed to have an intrinsic understanding of how to interact and I didn't.

I read recently about some research that said that not people could subconsciously detect autistic people and behave differently with them, even if they had no concept of autism. I could never understand why, if my wife and I met someone, they would be more drawn to her than me, before even interacting with either of us. Now I get it. It's basically a vibe!

Would you consider yourself more of an observer than a joiner in? I often feel more like I am noticing how people interact with each other as a detached observer than as an active participant. I never feel part of a crowd but merely present in the same place as a crowd. I have always felt like this but only since realising I was autistic did I understand why. It always confused me how everyone else seemed to have an intrinsic understanding of how to interact and I didn't.

I read recently about some research that said that not people could subconsciously detect autistic people and behave differently with them, even if they had no concept of autism. I could never understand why, if my wife and I met someone, they would be more drawn to her than me, before even interacting with either of us. Now I get it. It's basically a vibe!

I'm an observer, being an observer is also very much an only child thing too. I think so much of of our communication is non-verbal, there are probably loads of micro expressions that tell others we're ND, an NDar similar to a gaydar.

I used to have the same.with my ex-partner, people would always talk to her. I felt a bit emasculated but actually I preferred it. Same when I stayed at a b&b with somebody from work in Italy.

In the second case the owner even commented on my quietness. I thought I was just being normal.

I now think it's eye contact, lack of a genuine smile, issue with small talk, perhaps a bit of body language.

In my case I have optimised the business interaction setting, but not the informal setting as I avoid them.

It was part of masking. I don't have a good non-work setting as the interactions vary too much, and I'd be a bit awkward.

I imagine people can detect it. After all the assessment people do, so there is something there.

Perhaps it is subconscious in others. People can detect subtle cues. I wonder if you even smell it. The stress could change your hormones or sweat meaning pheromones are different.