• Replies 34 replies
  • Subscribers 88 subscribers
  • Views 1343 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Any advice on how to keep and maintain conversation

Autismman

I’m bad at keeping conversations going and tend to mentally wander or start looking around me. It’s not that I ask because I intend to sharpen my social skills but I ask so that I do not appear quiet or uninterested. I feel bad knowing the other person is having to put all the work in and I can’t think of anything to say. My mind just goes blank and I really rely on them being able to keep igniting the fire before I put it out because of my lack of input. Then I become more self aware that I am not talking and have nothing to say which makes it awkward although it’s not so awkward for me as I don’t mind the silence and thinking time but for others I can not always say this is the case. Keeping a conversation alive is really not a natural ability of mine. So what’s the best way I can fake it till I make it? Thanks 

Parents
  • Autismman said:
    My mind just goes blank and I really rely on them being able to keep igniting the fire before I put it out because of my lack of input.

    It sounds like you need to work on your active listening skills ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening ).

    You have to exhibit some interest in what they are saying and use this to cue questions about it - not create new topics. The cues make it seem you are interested but in reality it is just a skill to keep the conversation flowing for least effort on your part.

    It is something many autists have issues with and why I often say we come across as self centered (even when we aren't) because we don't take the same active role in interacting with the other party.

    Keep your questions open ended so it gives the other party room to talk more so it gives you more cues for further avenues and when they feel you have kept your side of the NT conversational social contract then they will ask you something.

    To me that is it in a nutshell. It took me years to get well versed in it and frankly I cannot be bothered to do it much anymore, but it does work.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks for that, I’m at a point where I want to put more effort in so I’ll give everything I can a shot. 

Reply Children
No Data