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Request for help

Moniker

Hi

I am hoping that autistic people might be able to help me out.  Basically, my problem is that I can't read faces or tones of voice, and my family while I was growing up was not usual, so I have no idea how a normal family "scripts" - as in, when they say something, what are the sort of responses they expect.

e.g. someone comes home from work and tells you about a problem they are having.  The expected script is that you will make sympathetic noises and say things that make them feel good about themself. My standard response to being told about a problem was to suggest how to fix it, which is not following the expected script in this case (and winds people up as a result) and once I knew the expected script I could respond appropriately.

I'm hoping that autistic people have some expertise in figuring things like this out so please tell me what scripts you know.  I'm female, which I suspect makes a difference.  Thank you!

NB1 If anyone is interested, I'm seeing a psychologist who thinks I may be autistic myself, but I have never been assessed and my childhood was so far from normal, I don't know if my lack of body language is a result of that instead.

Parents

  • Regarding special interests, I think this tends to be more male orientated from what I've read.  I have a 13 yr old on the spectrum and her 'special 'interests' aren't obvious but if you looked deeper you'd seen a tendency to preoccuppation with certain tv programmes and her teddy bear who she treats like a baby.  Other things tend to come and go quickly - for example, she spent 6 hours making paper chains once but then didn't do them again! 

    I've no idea about family behaviour because who knows what is normal?  I'd say mine isn't typical but I know a lot of people who'd also say the same.  My only tip would be to be genuinely interested in people and what they have to say and if you find that hard, perhaps you need to think about how important it is to you?  My sister, for example, is very loving and caring towards a few select people but wont give the time of day to most and she's happy with that.

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  • Regarding special interests, I think this tends to be more male orientated from what I've read.  I have a 13 yr old on the spectrum and her 'special 'interests' aren't obvious but if you looked deeper you'd seen a tendency to preoccuppation with certain tv programmes and her teddy bear who she treats like a baby.  Other things tend to come and go quickly - for example, she spent 6 hours making paper chains once but then didn't do them again! 

    I've no idea about family behaviour because who knows what is normal?  I'd say mine isn't typical but I know a lot of people who'd also say the same.  My only tip would be to be genuinely interested in people and what they have to say and if you find that hard, perhaps you need to think about how important it is to you?  My sister, for example, is very loving and caring towards a few select people but wont give the time of day to most and she's happy with that.

Children
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