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Request for help

Moniker

Hi

I am hoping that autistic people might be able to help me out.  Basically, my problem is that I can't read faces or tones of voice, and my family while I was growing up was not usual, so I have no idea how a normal family "scripts" - as in, when they say something, what are the sort of responses they expect.

e.g. someone comes home from work and tells you about a problem they are having.  The expected script is that you will make sympathetic noises and say things that make them feel good about themself. My standard response to being told about a problem was to suggest how to fix it, which is not following the expected script in this case (and winds people up as a result) and once I knew the expected script I could respond appropriately.

I'm hoping that autistic people have some expertise in figuring things like this out so please tell me what scripts you know.  I'm female, which I suspect makes a difference.  Thank you!

NB1 If anyone is interested, I'm seeing a psychologist who thinks I may be autistic myself, but I have never been assessed and my childhood was so far from normal, I don't know if my lack of body language is a result of that instead.

Parents

  • People are very closely influenced by their family context, whether that sets the pattern of their own behaviours, or decides for them what they want to avoid in future. 

    In modern times most families seem to be disfunctional in one way or another. I think people may find it hard to understand what you mean by a normal family, especially as some people posting on here are on the autistic spectrum and grew up with socialisation difficultuies that affected their view of the family. I might be wrong in this conclusion, but I don't think what you are seeking is readily recognisable - others may be able to offer better understanding.

    Sometimes though analysis of the past isn't helpful because you are stuck in your own perception of it, and may not have the other perspectives.

    The other thing I'd comment on is "special interest" - yes it does apply to some people, but it is largely a diagnostic tool. Not everyone would recognise what they do a lot of as "special interest". Sometimes it provides security and safety from change. Others are driven to acquire or organise information. Others are just good at some things they are happy with. "special interest" isn't necessarily a good phrase for this, its just a buzz word amongst professionals.

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  • People are very closely influenced by their family context, whether that sets the pattern of their own behaviours, or decides for them what they want to avoid in future. 

    In modern times most families seem to be disfunctional in one way or another. I think people may find it hard to understand what you mean by a normal family, especially as some people posting on here are on the autistic spectrum and grew up with socialisation difficultuies that affected their view of the family. I might be wrong in this conclusion, but I don't think what you are seeking is readily recognisable - others may be able to offer better understanding.

    Sometimes though analysis of the past isn't helpful because you are stuck in your own perception of it, and may not have the other perspectives.

    The other thing I'd comment on is "special interest" - yes it does apply to some people, but it is largely a diagnostic tool. Not everyone would recognise what they do a lot of as "special interest". Sometimes it provides security and safety from change. Others are driven to acquire or organise information. Others are just good at some things they are happy with. "special interest" isn't necessarily a good phrase for this, its just a buzz word amongst professionals.

Children
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