Gaslighting

What experience have you guys had of gaslighting? So I think my husband has been gaslighting me, it’s pretty obvious to me now I know I’m autistic but I questioned it for years , now I’m unmasking I confront him on it, it happens about twice a day he will say something , usually hurtful but not obviously so then later when I’ve absorbed it he says no I didn’t say that , when did I say it? And get loud and upset. I have been pushing it more and not accepting it like I used to then he says he does t remember saying it and says why would I say that? And I say I don’t kniw, you tell me? For years I thought I was crazy but I’m not he says these things. Oh and also sometimes he admits to saying the thing but now he knows I’m autistic he says ive taken it the wrong way, so it a mix of all that.

Parents
  • Yep, loads of times, from loads of people, even from an ASC support worker.

    It sounds like a total power play, 'oh I didn't mean it like that', the words of all bullies, have you tried recording him? I think with gas lighting, so much of it is tone of voice, the words themselves may not be insulting, but the way they're said is hurtful. I think it's hard when you doubt yourself about actually hearing what you heard. have you asked him how you're supposed to take his comments?

Reply
  • Yep, loads of times, from loads of people, even from an ASC support worker.

    It sounds like a total power play, 'oh I didn't mean it like that', the words of all bullies, have you tried recording him? I think with gas lighting, so much of it is tone of voice, the words themselves may not be insulting, but the way they're said is hurtful. I think it's hard when you doubt yourself about actually hearing what you heard. have you asked him how you're supposed to take his comments?

Children
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