Avoidant personality disorder VS Autism

Surely a lot of this is a reaction to being badly bullied, rejected and humiliated, if you've experienced these things then why would you not be afraid and avoidant? We learn not to stick our fingers in the fire because we get burnt, why should we not have the same reaction to being burnt by others cruelty? Why should we trust when that trust has been so badly abused? I'm not saying that social anxiety and AVPD aren't a problem, but a bit more understanding of why people become like this is needed and the causes addressed.

You have explained all that perfectly. I’ve been bullying myself because it feels like what I deserve. If I try to be kind to myself it just makes those angry voices louder. Not to mention I can feel physically unwell when trying to make myself feel good and stick up to the voices. Think things have just been compressed for so long 

Expecto_Patronum said:

I am distrusting of others because of past experiences but I wouldn't extend that to every human

Hmm that’s a tricky one for me, I think people have to prove themselves or you risk getting caught up in their drama (something I hate with a passion) or they may set out just to use you for something especially with low self esteem. It’s hard also to know what others intentions are, you can only take their word for it but I guess that’s where trust comes in. If you still have any left to give that’s invaluable. 

Being bullied can really dramatically alter your own perception of yourself. You can often end up turning into your own bully by default because part of you thinks you must have done something or that you deserve it. Then you develop that critical voice in your head commenting on everything you do and don’t do or if you make a mistake you end up feeling like the worst person alive and inadequate. The toxic behaviour leads to more toxic behaviour but towards yourself instead. Bullies can leave you feeling worthless. 

I am distrusting of others because of past experiences but I wouldn't extend that to every human. I avoid most social situations but for example I interact with people at work or I visit family etc and will welcome some level of interaction in these situations which doesn't fit the avpd criteria. I avoid trying to make friendships because I'm so anxious about it going wrong but that's an anxiety that's built because it has so often gone wrong.

But yes sometimes I think I want an on hand psychiatrist that can evaluate and explain all the things I think and do to me. Autism can certainly be a minefield as can anything mental health related.

Sorry to hear that, but it’s great that you felt you should try. Do you want to feel more confident when socialising? How does a social situation fail?

I can’t say I have any impulsive behaviours as such other than those driven by anxiety such as repetitively checking things when I am going through a stressful time for whatever reason. Autism seems to be the last condition a lot of people suffering get diagnosed with doesn’t it? I’ve had depression and anxiety most of my life but never has anyone mentioned autism, I had to get that assessment done myself. Dr Google is great at giving me all sorts of self diagnoses, 

I think my life experiences with autism and social situations (mostly failing miserably at them) has over time created a social anxiety.

I can relate to that too. Thanks to all the bullying I went through I don’t really know who I really am or what I really like so I guess I feel fake as well. I don’t feel like myself I don’t feel I have ever existed and convinced I’ve lied to myself for al these years so I’m just so confused. I avoid social situations best I can but if someone talks to me I will talk with them too but if someone is quiet then I feel is it me that’s making them the way they are or why are they so quiet and miserable and then I get upset 

Thanks for posting this. It’s all a bit of a puzzle still to me. Wish I had some autistic stamp or something more psychical I could rely on to know I am not making things up in my own head. Sure, I got a diagnoses but why do I doubt it so much, 

I’d say I am more distrusting of others more than I want their approval. I avoid social situations for sure but I also don’t really need or want them. So hard getting this diagnosis of autism and just kinda being left to my own devices really. I could probably chat on here for years and still not get over this feeling of being a fake. 

If you don’t mind me asking is it the social anxiety created by autism or that you fear the autistic traits you have will seem different to others and create the anxiety? 

I can personally relate to more social anxiety but I suppose so many disorders can have the same symptoms so it’s hard to distinguish I guess that’s why we have to trust the psychiatrists

I can understand that. Sometimes it’s best not to trust Dr Google but it might be worth asking for a general assessment with your GP or if it came to it, maybe go private. I kept questioning if I had BDD but apparently that’s more when going for cosmetic treatments and spending so much on them which I haven’t done (and hopefully wont despite the urge). Say I think autism can make you more vulnerable to other mental health problems and it’s harder to recover from but again I’m going by what my GP told me

I felt it was important to post this. Having read the above on the other post I had a oh wow that's close to home moment so I decided to Google it. This comparison to social anxiety made me go oh ok no I don't have that issue. I'm extremely socially anxious because of my autism. Just thought it might be a good comparison for others too.

Possibly if I went to the Gp, I think it could be helpful. It doesn’t fit me to the T but I can really empathise with the struggles listed. It’s the feeling of inadequacy and feeling Inferior to others, like I’m different, not like them. Although I can’t say I have much want for the social aspects of it in the first place, I don’t avoid these things out of fear or judgement just that I don’t see the point in socialising anyway. I have a few friends but that’s always a one on one interaction so no real stress there. And I am not too aware of a need to be liked either. Perhaps I am just autistic but I can’t shake this imposter syndrome. 

I have just been diagnosed with EUPD (emotionally unstable personality disorder) and what you have mentioned sounds very similar to EUPD. Are you able to have a general assessment of some sort maybe?