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Counselling doubts

Mercury

Through BACP I reached out to the most qualified person on there, asked upfront if counselling is appropriate for autism. 

Later got a reply, them saying neuro diversity is their specialism and offering to take me on, though there is a wait involved. 

The doubts from previous attempts convinced me this would also end in an unsatisfactory way and I ended contact there.

I've long had enough of talking about the past and getting pity, the past cannot be undone.  I really wanted to get my future sorted and I felt I had no right to put my problems on anyone else, especially when there is no clear solution.

Parents
  • Mercury said:

    Later got a reply, them saying neuro diversity is their specialism and offering to take me on, though there is a wait involved. 

    The doubts from previous attempts convinced me this would also end in an unsatisfactory way and I ended contact there

    So they said they are specialists in helping autists and you dropped them?

    This would preclude anyone from being able to offer therapy for you surely? I'm not having a go but pointing out you are not allowing them to have any criteria for success for you.

    Mercury said:
    I've long had enough of talking about the past and getting pity, the past cannot be undone.

    With a good therapist there is a good amount of value in examining past traumas and learning from them, accepting them and being able to move on to live a life free from the shackles they have around us.

    Yes it hurts to do, but the only way out of the cycle of trauma is through dealing with it. Without this you will have tremendous problems in getting your future sorted as the shackles (avoidant behaviour, fear response, anxiety etc) will only continue to hold you back.

    This is how I understand therapy to work and how it helped me anyway.

    Mercury said:
    I felt I had no right to put my problems on anyone else

    That is literally their job. To listen to you, help you "unpack" the historic problems and free yourself to move on.

Reply
  • Mercury said:

    Later got a reply, them saying neuro diversity is their specialism and offering to take me on, though there is a wait involved. 

    The doubts from previous attempts convinced me this would also end in an unsatisfactory way and I ended contact there

    So they said they are specialists in helping autists and you dropped them?

    This would preclude anyone from being able to offer therapy for you surely? I'm not having a go but pointing out you are not allowing them to have any criteria for success for you.

    Mercury said:
    I've long had enough of talking about the past and getting pity, the past cannot be undone.

    With a good therapist there is a good amount of value in examining past traumas and learning from them, accepting them and being able to move on to live a life free from the shackles they have around us.

    Yes it hurts to do, but the only way out of the cycle of trauma is through dealing with it. Without this you will have tremendous problems in getting your future sorted as the shackles (avoidant behaviour, fear response, anxiety etc) will only continue to hold you back.

    This is how I understand therapy to work and how it helped me anyway.

    Mercury said:
    I felt I had no right to put my problems on anyone else

    That is literally their job. To listen to you, help you "unpack" the historic problems and free yourself to move on.

Children
  • in reply to Iain

    There are only two routes, in my opinion:

    1. Bury it, then wait for it to come back worse at some unexpected and inconvenient time in the future, then hope you can keep burying it. And put up with the side effects in between.

    2. Deal with it, which is hard, makes you feel bad for a while, and takes a lot of courage to open up and tell someone your real, proper, honest thoughts.lt destabilises you but it gets better if you hang in there. You have to trust someone and you have to do homework and be prepared.They only know what you tell them, so have to tell them everything if you want a proper answer. Is it nice, no. But that is why it takes courage as you have to be vulnerable.