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In a denial

Suchitra

My son 22 has been recently re-assesed for ASD and diagnosed ASD - level 2, he is totally denying it and says it is wrong diagnosis. He was diagnosed as a child for high functioning autism and is aware of it.

He is unemployed, with one year of computer science diploma. Not applying for any job and if I do, doesn't want me to mention ASD on the form.

He doesn't shower for many weeks, just stays in his room and only comes out for food. 

Gets upset with local social care and mental health teams visit. 

I would greatly appreciate some help and advise please. 

Thank you! 

  • Suchitra said:
    Not applying for any job and if I do, doesn't want me to mention ASD on the form.

    I wouldn't want to write it on the form either, and I'm not in denial (any more).

    There probably isn't a whole lot you can do beyond continuing to support him and encouraging him to educate himself more about autism. I didn't think I was autistic (despite a diagnosis) because I didn't really know what autism was. It was listening to and reading accounts by other autistic people that finally brought me around. It can be very lonely and isolating if you think you're the only person in the world who feels like you do. When you find out you're not, it makes a big difference.

    He's lucky to have you in his corner.

  • I don't know if this would help, it's a bit brutal.

    Perhaps hold up a mirror, figuratively, and point out these things. If he was level 1 or less would he be staying in a room dependent on other people for food, with no job, not applying for one and poor self care. 

    I have been hit by harsh home truths in the past. It hurts for a while but then you accept it as you can't argue your way out it. Or my stubbornness made me prove it wrong.

    If I was told I couldn't go out I'd have done it. Then I'd either right or if I couldn't I'd have to accept it. Then I would have to identify why not, which gives something to work with.

    Perhaps the issue is there is no down side to carrying on with the current routine. Maybe he needs some chores to do.

  • Dear Suchitra,

    I am sorry to hear that you and your son are going through such a hard time after some changes in the diagnosis.

    It could be helpful for you or your son to take a look at Criteria and tools used in an autism assessment this may help him understand how the assessment process works. 

    Some other resources that could be worth taking a look at:

    Employment

    Mental health and wellbeing

    Social care

    Thank you for reaching out,

    Olivia Mod