How to escape noise advice please?!

Me too!

God bless

Me too - it took me ages to work out how to post a message in the first place!  The responses are so quick and so kind that I will try to use it more often now. Take care, K

You're welcome. Sorry such a slow response, I'm still leanring my way around on here 

Thanks, standard sounds a good bet, then.  I really appreciate your taking the time to help me out.  All the best, Kate

I used the standard size and they are comfortable for me. I think you'd only need the mini size if you are small and petite as they are the size used for children. Do you know which size you use for earbuds? I'm a medium there if that helps. 

Thanks for your suggestions.  I am going to look into the Flare and the Loop ear pieces and see what might work for me. DaughteroftheKing  Is the standard or mini size best for a female ear?  I know we are all different, but what have you found the best fit, please? Thanks, K x

Thank you all so much for all your help and advice and above all, your sympathy and empathy.  I think I will need to try a few options.  I don't like the idea of being dependent on anything, but it would be good to find something that helps me feel more in control on the worst nights when people are being inconsiderate and it is too hot to have all the windows shut.  I think a lot of my anxiety comes from the lack of control over the situation.  If I knew when and for hoe long the noise would happen, I would probably be able to deal with it a lot better.  Similarly, if I know I have a means of reducing the noise it might help me to feel a lot less anxious and at risk of amplifying the impact of the noise through my own distress.  Thank you for all your really helpful suggestions.  I certainly don't want to add tinnitus to my list of issues, so I will think carefully about a way to manage.  I do wish there were quiet hubs to be able to use as a last resource when absolutely exhausted and strung out from constant stimulation and anxiety.  

Wishing you all peace and sleep!

K x

 ArchaeC ‘s reply has reminded me of what I wrote in a similar thread a while ago. I’ll repeat part of it here, in case it’s helpful:

Speaking from experience, if your definition of them working is for them to be blocking out all noise, then I'm not sure that's either a realistic or desirable goal - it being one that I've previously pursued, but since dropped.

As I understand it, no earplug can ever completely cut out all noise anyway because of bone conduction, which will still happen. Then there's news articles like this, which I keep seeing from time to time: The Guardian (for example) says "Multiple studies have shown that constant earplug wearing, day and night, over just one week is enough to result in new-onset tinnitus."

Perhaps your GP could offer some advice and support on that front? [perhaps some form of therapy might help, for example].

NAS83894 said:

Please can any of you recommend ear plugs or headphones that will block out the low vibrations and noise and let me get some sleep?  

I haven’t come across anything that can block out all noise, including low vibrations. 

I have tried Loop Switch 2 and Loop Dream ear plugs, and while they reduce the noise, they do not block it.

Several brands of cheap, disposable foam earplugs block more noise than the Loop plugs, but not everyone finds them comfortable. 

Over the ear industrial ear defenders would give more sound protection than ear plugs, and if you could cope with using foam ear plugs at the same time, it would likely block out most of the noise, but perhaps not those low, loud rumbles that vibrate.

i find the most comfortable and effective option is to wear AirPods pro with music at a low volume and noise cancelling activated. The AirPods are so comfortable that I can’t feel them, though sometimes it means I need to sleep on my back. 

Amberet said:

(though I think they make another sleeping type called Dream which might be even better)

I mention the Dream in my reply below (which also includes my discount link).

I find that they provide more noise reduction than Quiet (which I was using before) and are more comfortable for side-sleeping.

A couple of things to be aware of:

- When using the Dream Ear Tips (which include memory foam), the silicone cover can fold back on itself when removing them. Loop's responses in reviews explain that this is intentional and they can just be straightened out again and folded back over the memory foam. In practice, I find that can be a bit tricky, but I'm getting better at it.

- Those foam-based ear tips are supposed to be replaced after 100 uses, which obviously means an ongoing cost if you do like them.

However, the product does now also include another option: double silicone tips, which I haven't yet tried and which would, I expect, last much longer. They weren't included in the earlier version of the pack, so I might return mine (it's still within 100 days of purchase) and buy the newer pack instead.

I'm sorry to hear that, but it's good others get a balanced opinion. For me they fitted so comfortably I worried they'd fall out too. They never do though. They do make one with a cord between them just incase though. 

Isn't it frustrating that our ears aren't all a uniform size and shape! 

I swear by loop earplugs too. I have two pairs - Quiet 2 for sleeping (though I think they make another sleeping type called Dream which might be even better) and Engage 2 to reduce noise when travelling and in the office etc.

They’ve made a massive difference, especially the Quiet 2s. 

DaughteroftheKing said:

You could benefit from Flare Calmer

I liked the idea of those so much that I’ve tried several different versions of them over the years, including in different sizes.

Unfortunately, I had to concede defeat and give up on them. I found it tricky to get them fitted correctly and even more difficult to keep them in place, including when talking, eating, or otherwise moving my jaw (eg yawning).

I also didn’t dare wear them away from home, because it was far too easy for them to fall out without me realising.

Of course, some people have got on well with them, and they also have a 100-day money-back guarantee.

You could benefit from Flare Calmer, they are comfortable and because they only channel the sound so it is gentler you don't hear your own breathing, chewing etc

Calmer® | An Alternative To Traditional Earplugs – Flare Audio Ltd

God bless you. I'm in a similar spot.... my sympathies, sound can be torture and lack of sleep too. 

You're right nothing helps all noises, especially those rumbling noises - for me it's the neighbours bathroom fan in the middle of the night and paper thin walls of a rental flat, but also sounds of summer and city living. I find ear defenders help (the kind people wear at shooting ranges) I got a pair on ebay for £15. They are bulky and tight on your head and big, but they limit noise massively. So if you can bear the tightness (I like that) and don't mind being obvious for work - big black bulky things on your head they are good. Also easy to pull off and not stuck in the ear so reasonably comfortable, assuming you don't mind the tighness. You can also hear your heart beat if you sit quietly, I thought that would bug me, but I find it oddly comforting. You can't really sleep with them on as they are bulky.... but saying that, when my neighbour wakes me and I must go dose on the chair in the lounge , I manage to sleep with them on. 

Flare calmer - are ear plugs of a sort though they do not block noise but soften the spiky aspect of it. They are soft and comfortable with a hole through the middle (so you don't hear your own breathing or heart) . They are only visible if someone gets up close and looks. They are perfect for being in an environment where you still need to hear people talking and reply. They're about £20. Seperate filters that fit in them can be bought if you need to slip them in to block more noise. You could wear these for sleep too, they do make ones for sleep but I've not tried them. Flare is a UK company and has a lot of products. 

Also for the office it may be useful to use ANC earbuds - they work with no music or wirh music. ANC is active noise cancelling which somehow tones down the noise around you. They can be uncomfortable though and you may need to buy a few pairs to find the right shape to be comfortable in your ear... they're about £25 each though can be much much more. You cna also get ANC earphones over the ear if you prefer, usually much more expensive. You'd probably need to take the ear buds out to listen to a conversation, but you can also wear only one. Also usually you can push the ear bud and it changes to another mode, ie noise cancelling off etc. 

Hope that helps. I'll read through to see any tips people have, thank you for posting

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughtful and helpful suggestions.  I think I will try them all if I can as I really am at my wits end at the moment and I know I made last night very unhappy for my family by my responses to our noisy neighbours.  I think you are all correct in that I will need some kind of physical defence against the sound, but probably also some kind of emotional retraining so I can try to accept or at least reduce my anxious responses. I don't have any experience with hypnotherapy, but maybe some kind of refocussing would help.  I don't want to resort to sleeping pills or anything similar.  Thank you for all your help and support, I will read through all your comments carefully and look into what I can buy and try.  All the best to you all, K xxxx

NAS83894 said:

noise is my biggest problem as it stops me being able to sleep or focus on work - or both

Have you considered hypnosis?

When this is done in a way suitable for autists it can bring benefits, especially since it seems you have associated a particular unpleasantness to sound. By changing your automatic response to something less extreme it may help you find enough peace to sleep and function more normally.

It really needs to be done by someone who understands how autists need the approach adapted however for it to have a chance of success so I would check with your therapist for a referral if you have one.

You point out that alternatives such as moving away are not viable (in any case birdsong, insects or even wind may end up replacing urban noises in any case) and others are suggesting ways of reducing the noise reaching your inner ear.

I've been in the situation where one particular noise (the chirping on a neighbours smoke alarm with a low battery) would drive me crazy and I had to meditate to focus an acceptance of the noise as just another part of the background and to remove the irritation I felt when it made a noise.

I have loops but they are not perfect. If the noise is that bad I play either my own music on my air pods or relaxing sounds such as wind noise or snowstorms.

I'm a big fan of Loop earplugs; their range includes different models for various different scenarios (eg general quiet, talking to others, attending a concert, sleeping).

In case they're of interest, I'll share my referral link, which offers a discount on first purchase. If you don't like them, they can returned for a refund within 100 days, even in used condition:

Loop Earplugs - 15% off

I wear different pairs of these every day, including for housework, "cooking" (I don't actually cook, it's more reheating of shop-bought things!) and sleeping.

For sleeping, I'm now wearing the Loop Dream earplugs, which include memory foam inside a silicone liner.

I used to wear Ear Jellies, which gave me the most noise reduction that I've ever experienced from earplugs, but I hurt my eardrum when pushing one in too far. They can also cause pain when removed, due to how well they seal themselves in and the vacuum they create. I got my original set through their crowdfunding campaign. The newer replacements that I bought later also on felt a lot less comfortable, unfortunately.

Ear Jellies

I tried some of those hidden types of ear plugs that are meant to be discreet but all I could hear is my heartbeat in my head and that’s not sensory fun plus they were really uncomfortable, they may have been called Loop?