I was due to go to like a stall or street party type thing today with the family and figured it would be some sort of like walkthrough event not needing to stop for long and plenty of ways out without being totally surrounded by others but that wasn’t the case. I got there and it’s a rather small cornered off event with two ways in and out and at least 40/50 people there. I will never understand for the life of me how that type of experience could be remotely enjoyable. Again, I feel like a killjoy but all these strangers chatting away having the time of their lives and I was thinking of ways out, managed to sneak away and get a coffee so I could sit alone for a bit. There are times when I wish I could at least pretend with these things for the sake of my family but I haven’t got that in me and I can’t help but think they wish I could blend in too. As I’ve gotten older I have retracted a lot more like a tortoise into his shell and mask less because it’s far too tiring all the time. When I say mask less I just outright don’t attend family events unless it’s a really important one and even then I won’t speak much more than needed. This is just how I like to live, I don’t think many NTs understand this.
