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Anyone else experience similar?

Autismman

I was due to go to like a stall or street party type thing today with the family and figured it would be some sort of like walkthrough event not needing to stop for long and plenty of ways out without being totally surrounded by others but that wasn’t the case. I got there and it’s a rather small cornered off event with two ways in and out and at least 40/50 people there. I will never understand for the life of me how that type of experience could be remotely enjoyable. Again, I feel like a killjoy but all these strangers chatting away having the time of their lives and I was thinking of ways out, managed to sneak away and get a coffee so I could sit alone for a bit. There are times when I wish I could at least pretend with these things for the sake of my family but I haven’t got that in me and I can’t help but think they wish I could blend in too. As I’ve gotten older I have retracted a lot more like a tortoise into his shell and mask less because it’s far too tiring all the time. When I say mask less I just outright don’t attend family events unless it’s a really important one and even then I won’t speak much more than needed. This is just how I like to live, I don’t think many NTs understand this.

Parents

  • Couldn't you all compromise? you could all think about something you want/like to do and  they what they want/like to do and then try to find common ground.... I like to join my dad for a walk in the park with his little dog. It's easier to chat when not face to face. 

    But it's going to happen that you think things will be one way, and they are not and you are thrown. Going for coffee alone was very sensible. 

    I also struggle trying to pretend I can do x or y with people but as I get older, I am better at saying, no thats not for me, but what about z? 

Reply

  • Couldn't you all compromise? you could all think about something you want/like to do and  they what they want/like to do and then try to find common ground.... I like to join my dad for a walk in the park with his little dog. It's easier to chat when not face to face. 

    But it's going to happen that you think things will be one way, and they are not and you are thrown. Going for coffee alone was very sensible. 

    I also struggle trying to pretend I can do x or y with people but as I get older, I am better at saying, no thats not for me, but what about z? 

Children
  • in reply to DaughteroftheKing

    It’s not a problem when it’s just the family but when there’s a gathering and I am expected to mingle or converse it creates a mental wall. You can only sit on your phone for so long trying to entertain yourself, then you do it for too long and it becomes obvious you aren’t interested in the goings on around you. As I said I wish there was some switch I could flick on just for the families sake because people are meant to create bonds, relationships, acquaintances and just speak to one another. Even before I get to these things I’ve decided how long I am staying for, be it an hour or two hours.