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What do you live for?

aurelis

I’m curious to know what keeps people going each day - do you have a thing that helps you get through? Or not, and you’re just living. A special interest, a person/people, a cause, a memory, a wish and future, God. anything. Life isn’t easy naturally, and I just want to know how others keep going.

At the moment, I feel my internal compass is missing, and I’m not sure what exactly I’m fighting for, and what gives me joy. I’m working on it at the moment, but I feel really not connected to anything. I feel a lot of inside of “I should feel this and this should be what gets me going” but I have nothing. Also I want to detox from social media so other voices aren’t trying to tell me that answer.

Parents

  • I live to one day have peace and be in an environment that I control without having to slip away to another area to avoid being triggered. 
    My special interests at this time are not serving me which makes me worry a lot as I have never lacked enthusiasm when it comes to spending time doing them, that leaves me a bit empty tbh so I understand your feelings you mention.

    My work which is an interest in itself has also lost its appeal and I am really finding it difficult to motivate myself, this is difficult when you work alone but maybe I just need to not be motivated for a while? 

    My mum and dad give me joy, I love them dearly and speak to them or visit them most days. I am very fortunate to have such fantastic parents and although I worry about them it brings me joy to see them go out with friends, go on holidays and generally have a good social life. 

    My two boys give me something to live for. I have not been that good at taking them out just lately as I have been unwell and not been too great mentally. I plan to change that now that I’m starting to feel better. 

    Is there an event that you think might have started this? Are you able to go back to when things were easier and identify the transition to where you are now? 

  • in reply to Take5

    I love that you have a great connection to your family! I feel as if I’ve taken my family a little bit for granted (I do love my family!), and after having to come out of my “daydream fantasy world in my head”, I’m coming more to try and connect with them more. I feel bad for not being as connected, but it’s because I run away with my own head so often I forget to connect.

    I think it wasn’t an event that started this, but I realised I made a lot of decisions in my life without really thinking about long term. Just one thing to the next. Which morphed into “I have to do this to show I’m an adult and that I’m coping, and understand and cater for everyone’s emotions” , with a constant undercurrent of “I need to do something that impacts the world and is huge” - and this year I just crashed. The thought of not knowing where I want to go in life and fear of wasting my 20s has really frightened me, and now sitting with it and having to make a decision that is not based on pleasing people is what scares me.

    i don’t think I can go back, but I know I can try to make small decisions that help. Calling friends for short chats more often, and going out on bike rides to sit with my thoughts, that’s helped a little.

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  • in reply to Take5

    I love that you have a great connection to your family! I feel as if I’ve taken my family a little bit for granted (I do love my family!), and after having to come out of my “daydream fantasy world in my head”, I’m coming more to try and connect with them more. I feel bad for not being as connected, but it’s because I run away with my own head so often I forget to connect.

    I think it wasn’t an event that started this, but I realised I made a lot of decisions in my life without really thinking about long term. Just one thing to the next. Which morphed into “I have to do this to show I’m an adult and that I’m coping, and understand and cater for everyone’s emotions” , with a constant undercurrent of “I need to do something that impacts the world and is huge” - and this year I just crashed. The thought of not knowing where I want to go in life and fear of wasting my 20s has really frightened me, and now sitting with it and having to make a decision that is not based on pleasing people is what scares me.

    i don’t think I can go back, but I know I can try to make small decisions that help. Calling friends for short chats more often, and going out on bike rides to sit with my thoughts, that’s helped a little.

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