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Autistic adults

TheCatWoman

I've often wondered if being diagnosed later in life has any bearing on how we deal with being autistic? I mean we've had a life before diagnosis and I wonder how being diagnosed later in life affects how we see past struggles. Are we more likely to feel that we're somehow imposters as another poster commented?

I just tried looking for a list of symptoms and from what I could find there only seems to be very simple lists of common symptoms, like avoiding eye contact. I think there must be others, a much longer list that professionals refer to when making a diagnosis. I got a load of AI generated generic stuff when I searched, but that could well be due to my lack of computer skills. Can anyone find a fuller list and post it? I think it would be useful, especially the less common things like hyper-mobility and gut disorders, although gut disorders do seem to be quite common.

I thin it would be good and helpful especially for us latelings to be able to see what other symptoms there are, that aren't so common.

Parents

  • I think the professionals mostly stick to their diagnostic manuals. Your diagnosis is based on matching your traits to the few broad categories defined there. I suppose a good professional's knack is doing that matching effectively.

    I was trying to figure out my own traits, so my starting point was interactive AI chat. I went to https://duck.ai (my go-to AI chat resource, as it's free and private), selected the "GPT-4o mini" AI, and typed "List 100 autism traits." That worked well to give me plenty of things to mull over.

    The nice thing about AI chat is that you can ask it for more details on any of the traits, get it to give you examples, etc. all without having to wade through a lot of ads and excess verbiage. For example, follow up the first instruction with "Tell me more about difficulty with small talk," or "List some co-occurring conditions," or "How are hyper-mobility and autism connected?" If it starts getting a bit too verbose, you can type, "Give me more concise answers," or something like that.

    The main thing is that it is not pre-generated AI stuff, it is a chat that responds to exactly what you ask of it and it keeps track of what you have already asked, so it knows the context. Give it a go.

  • in reply to Damojo

    I'm not a fan of using AI for things like this, for one thing I dont' know enough about it and for another whenever I do get an Ai generated answer, which is happening more and more, the information isn't that good or isn't what I asked for. It seem to want to shove me in a direction that I don't want to go in or I feel like i'm being patted on the head and told there there dear.

    I get really triggered by by some things that others are fine with, like I had a panic attack and melt down whilst watching War Horse. I both over empathised with the horse, it didn't ask to be in a war. I couldn't fathom why this horrific tale was supposed to be a story for children. I was so upset that I was hyperventilating, dry retching and left feeling wobbly for days. 

    Puppets and circus stuff freaks me out too, if the war horse puppet had come to my town I would of run screaming.

    I've had depression and anxiety through my life too, I have cPTSD I do wonder how much of my previous depression was about autism even though I didn't know I had it at the time and I wonder how it would of changed things had I of known?

    I've realised that people used to wind me up on purpose, just to watch me get upset, partners particularly, they can feel all martyred about how good they are living with someone so volatile, it's all a form of cohersive control. I wonder if somehow we attract people who will be bad for us, maybe we don't see the warning signs others do and are more likely after a lifetime of being told we're weird and wrong to believe that we're at fault?

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  • in reply to Damojo

    I'm not a fan of using AI for things like this, for one thing I dont' know enough about it and for another whenever I do get an Ai generated answer, which is happening more and more, the information isn't that good or isn't what I asked for. It seem to want to shove me in a direction that I don't want to go in or I feel like i'm being patted on the head and told there there dear.

    I get really triggered by by some things that others are fine with, like I had a panic attack and melt down whilst watching War Horse. I both over empathised with the horse, it didn't ask to be in a war. I couldn't fathom why this horrific tale was supposed to be a story for children. I was so upset that I was hyperventilating, dry retching and left feeling wobbly for days. 

    Puppets and circus stuff freaks me out too, if the war horse puppet had come to my town I would of run screaming.

    I've had depression and anxiety through my life too, I have cPTSD I do wonder how much of my previous depression was about autism even though I didn't know I had it at the time and I wonder how it would of changed things had I of known?

    I've realised that people used to wind me up on purpose, just to watch me get upset, partners particularly, they can feel all martyred about how good they are living with someone so volatile, it's all a form of cohersive control. I wonder if somehow we attract people who will be bad for us, maybe we don't see the warning signs others do and are more likely after a lifetime of being told we're weird and wrong to believe that we're at fault?

Children
  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    TheCatWoman said:
    I've had depression and anxiety through my life too, I have cPTSD I do wonder how much of my previous depression was about autism

    I'm finding it very hard to untangle all these things, too. Honestly, I don't know where one starts and the other ends.

    Social anxiety disorder (SAD)? Yes, a bit. Maybe a lot. Or is that cPTSD hypervigilance, or Autistic hyperawareness combined with a need for predictability and personal space?

    cPTSD? Probably. I feel I'm constantly looking over my shoulder in case someone is going to abuse me verbally, emotionally, or physically. Is that cPTSD, or Autistic rumination, or a consequence of decades of unconscious masking, or just a good memory of my childhood, my life? Childhood emotional neglect (CEN), maybe ... probably? I don't really know.

    I had my first major depression when I was 22. It traumatised me. Deeply. What terrified me was that I didn't know why it happened. I remained so terrified that when I was 30 and felt depression coming on again, I actually asked for help and ended up with an AuDHD diagnosis. Now, a couple of decades on, and coming off the back of another major depression last year, I think the cause was Autistic burnout and a big helping of CEN and/or cPTSD. It's all so hard to unpick, but I think I'm making progress.

    So, to get a bit more back to the topic at hand, when I see a list of Autistic traits, I go yes, yes, that's me, yes, me too, etc. Then I see many of the same traits listed for SAD or CEN or cPTSD and then think, "Wait! Is it Autism, or is it just a bunch of these other things?"