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I feel nothing

aurelis

I’ve recently come back from holiday, and I’m back home. I feel nothing. It’s interesting because I’ve slowed down a lot and tried not to run as fast as I did in the past in trying to keep up with everything else. But now I feel nothing, I have nothing to share and open with anyone, nothing that I want to anyway, and feel as if I’m existing as a vessel. I have loving people around me and still feel nothing. It’s the thing that I’ve always been afraid of and now I’m face to face with it and I can’t run away anymore. It hurts, that I feel no purpose towards anything, and I really don’t know if I did. I feel as if all my friendships consisted of me listening to the other person rather than being able to share my thoughts, and now my thoughts are really jumbled.

The holiday made me slow down and soak things up more, and I’m trying to seek time of slowing down and doing nothing. But I’m scared that by doing that, the thing I’ve been chasing most of my life (wanting to feel connected and feel meaning to life) will completely disappear and I’ll lose myself entirely. I really want to genuinely feel, but I can’t genuinely generate that feel.

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  • I don't think you are feeling "nothing" - It sounds like you could be having trouble identifying your feelings. I know I have often had that problem, particularly when under stress.

    Paul Ekman, a leading psychologist and emotions researcher, developed an "atlas of emotions" which puts them into 5 categories: Anger, Fear, Sadness, Disgust and Enjoyment.

    Here are some of the emotions you may be feeling:

    Lonely (a sadness emotion-)- no matter how many people you have around you, it's possible to still feel lonely if you don't feel a connection to them.

    Worried (a fear emotion) - you say you are scared that by slowing down you will will be unable to feel connected

    Confused (a fear emotion) - you say your thoughts are really jumbled

    The tips that are given to help deal with these feelings are:

    Sadness - It might help to talk about it (as you are doing here) but it also might help to sit with your feelings for a while or express them creatively. Doing something to help others may help you to feel more connection to other people.

    Fear: ruminating, or letting the same thoughts play out over and over again, can have a negative impact on your mental health, and can make fear worse. Try to do something distracting - watch a movie, listen to a podcast, try out a new recipe, go for a walk or jog. When you feel up to it, you could also ask one of those loving people you have around you if they want to join in with an activity - this also could help you start to feel connected.

    I think you are maybe reacting to recent changes in your life - first going away on holiday, which is a different environment and routine, and now getting settled back at home. Give it time - your brain probably just needs to process it all. I wish you well.

  • in reply to Lotus

    Thanks for the message. The holiday was really interesting. I didn’t feel strong emotions being away from home. I didn’t feel super excited about the fact most of the time. I did allow myself to feel, without expectation. And I felt myself really slow down for the first time in a long time.

    what I did try the other day was getting my bike out and going for a ride! Not done that in a decade I think. No music, and just head to the park and called a few friends. It was great, and was a needed distraction too!

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