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Can’t relax

Elfilis

I am just so unable to relax at the moment. Over the years I’ve been in situations that have really irritated me and have played on my mind since. But as time has gone on it’s like I’m now just feeling so overwhelmed and overloaded with irritation, anger, stress, you name it. Like at one point I can be triggered by actual stimuli and then another point I can just been triggered by my own mind remembering things I don’t want to remember. Im also finding like I can be triggered by my mind and then whilst I’m upset I get triggered by proper stimuli and then it just builds up and I’m not able to get a break. I keep remembering one time when I kept hearing noises I find so irritating and aggravating and it was my dad making those horrible noises and I kept getting irritated, kept stimming and all he said was, well I don’t want to say as it’s really a huge and upsetting and annoying trigger for me, but the thing is he wouldn’t do anything about it apart from laugh at me. He knew what he was doing and kept doing it and crossing my boundaries. I’ve had other situations with other family members have crossed my boundaries when I’ve stated what is a trigger to me and they just don’t care, they say oh just chill or something when I simply cant. I know I have only just had my autism diagnosis recently but even so, I’m upset I got shunned off and to “get over it” when to me it’s really easier said than done. 

I’m trying all sorts of things to relax me but my mind is so foggy with nasty things I’m unable to focus, relax etc. can anyone relate in some way? Is there any advice at all? 

Parents

  • The first thing that comes to my mind is thought-stopping. I don’t know what your thoughts on therapy or if you are currently in therapy, but it sounds like learning more about thought-stopping might be helpful. The idea is basically whenever you have a negative thought, chase it with a positive or neutral thought.

    For example, earlier this year I kept having the recurring intrusive thought of something to the effect of “I can’t keep going,” but I would chase that thought with “But I can try.” Eventually the intrusive phrase left my mind, but it took a good week of thought-stopping to get rid of it.

  • in reply to profdanger

    Ahh ok to thought-stopping, thank you for the suggestion. I am not in therapy right now but I have done talking/cbt and hypnotherapy in the past but I wasn’t able to get along with the therapist, in fact they have all been rude so it’s made me more skeptical as whenever I’ve been, I’ve got judged negatively. I might considering doing more research though. I’m not sure if I should maybe considering doing emdr or something as we are speculating I could have ptsd but I’m not sure. I was going to try and get a gp to refer me for a general assessment but I can’t seem to get an appointment and going private is very expensive. I need the money for the switch 2 lol. Thank you for replying.

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I'm a bit dubious about emdr too, it's probably ok for either a single incident or something out of normal life like being in a war, if you have something like cPTSD then I'm unsure of its suitablility.

    Thinks like emdr and cbt are to mechanistic in their approach for my liking, I had cbt and had symptom substitution, Now I can drive, but developed social phobia which I never had before. I tried hypnotherapy to help with stopping smoking, but didn't get on with it and had a bit of a spat with the practitioner. I don't know if it's an autistic thing or if I done so much meditation over the years that my brain was a bit overtrained?

    Maybe try something simple for now, like a hairband around your wrist to twang when you get a negative thought. If you get really wound up then maybe drinking something like chamomile tea might help, or lavender, either a couple of drop on a tissue inside your pillow case at night, or in a diffuser during the day, just make sure that it's real lavender essential oil rather than the synthetic ones.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I never thought of what you suggested actually. Yeah I’m one to take small steps myself otherwise I can get so overwhelmed. I actually just bought a changing colour diffuser recently which is very nice to watch but I haven’t got real oils at the moment so I will order some! I’ve also heard about flicking the wrist band but never tried it lol Joy or I have and never realised. Might even try the chamomile tea too, I normally just reach for a cranberry juice or a j20 ha. 

    Yeah as for emdr I’m quite weary of it as I haven’t been diagnosed but I feel in two minds about that. I suppose this is where I’d need another diagnosis, just need to get a gp appointment first. I suppose with cbt now I know I have autism then maybe I can have sessions adapted for me, I think what worries me is if it doesn’t work and I feel worse than before because I do have autism, it’s so complicated. Like now I’m so unable to go outside or look out my window because I feel worse off and triggered. Im sorry your hypnotherapy didn’t work out, I think maybe the practitioner wasn’t really suitable, like the issue with me. Hope you are doing better now 

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I never thought of what you suggested actually. Yeah I’m one to take small steps myself otherwise I can get so overwhelmed. I actually just bought a changing colour diffuser recently which is very nice to watch but I haven’t got real oils at the moment so I will order some! I’ve also heard about flicking the wrist band but never tried it lol Joy or I have and never realised. Might even try the chamomile tea too, I normally just reach for a cranberry juice or a j20 ha. 

    Yeah as for emdr I’m quite weary of it as I haven’t been diagnosed but I feel in two minds about that. I suppose this is where I’d need another diagnosis, just need to get a gp appointment first. I suppose with cbt now I know I have autism then maybe I can have sessions adapted for me, I think what worries me is if it doesn’t work and I feel worse than before because I do have autism, it’s so complicated. Like now I’m so unable to go outside or look out my window because I feel worse off and triggered. Im sorry your hypnotherapy didn’t work out, I think maybe the practitioner wasn’t really suitable, like the issue with me. Hope you are doing better now 

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