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Can’t relax

Elfilis

I am just so unable to relax at the moment. Over the years I’ve been in situations that have really irritated me and have played on my mind since. But as time has gone on it’s like I’m now just feeling so overwhelmed and overloaded with irritation, anger, stress, you name it. Like at one point I can be triggered by actual stimuli and then another point I can just been triggered by my own mind remembering things I don’t want to remember. Im also finding like I can be triggered by my mind and then whilst I’m upset I get triggered by proper stimuli and then it just builds up and I’m not able to get a break. I keep remembering one time when I kept hearing noises I find so irritating and aggravating and it was my dad making those horrible noises and I kept getting irritated, kept stimming and all he said was, well I don’t want to say as it’s really a huge and upsetting and annoying trigger for me, but the thing is he wouldn’t do anything about it apart from laugh at me. He knew what he was doing and kept doing it and crossing my boundaries. I’ve had other situations with other family members have crossed my boundaries when I’ve stated what is a trigger to me and they just don’t care, they say oh just chill or something when I simply cant. I know I have only just had my autism diagnosis recently but even so, I’m upset I got shunned off and to “get over it” when to me it’s really easier said than done. 

I’m trying all sorts of things to relax me but my mind is so foggy with nasty things I’m unable to focus, relax etc. can anyone relate in some way? Is there any advice at all? 

Parents

  • There is one short sentence which can be helpful to keep reminding yourself is really important:

    "look after yourself".

    Someone once told me it is worth trying to remember that nobody else is likely to care about your mental health quite as much as you do, so you are right to;

    "look after yourself":

    as

    you

    are

    important.

    Our ideal self-care strategies are a set of lifelong skills to explore and refine (as we learn more about what our Autism / ADHD / other neurodivergent presentations might mean to us as individuals and as a community).

    I don't think you will find people here will tell you to "get over it", but we might each find we need to "grow into it" instead.  That takes some time and experience. 

    We might try some things and decide to keep, or to discard them.  Not to worry, as there will be other new things which come to our attention to try out at some stage - as we learn more about the things which might be supportive.

    There is no competition or award to win, so we can pace ourselves and perhaps not try to take onboard too many new things all at the same time.

    Taking the time to learn to pace ourselves ...that is "allowed", sensible and to be encouraged.

Reply

  • There is one short sentence which can be helpful to keep reminding yourself is really important:

    "look after yourself".

    Someone once told me it is worth trying to remember that nobody else is likely to care about your mental health quite as much as you do, so you are right to;

    "look after yourself":

    as

    you

    are

    important.

    Our ideal self-care strategies are a set of lifelong skills to explore and refine (as we learn more about what our Autism / ADHD / other neurodivergent presentations might mean to us as individuals and as a community).

    I don't think you will find people here will tell you to "get over it", but we might each find we need to "grow into it" instead.  That takes some time and experience. 

    We might try some things and decide to keep, or to discard them.  Not to worry, as there will be other new things which come to our attention to try out at some stage - as we learn more about the things which might be supportive.

    There is no competition or award to win, so we can pace ourselves and perhaps not try to take onboard too many new things all at the same time.

    Taking the time to learn to pace ourselves ...that is "allowed", sensible and to be encouraged.

Children
  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    Thank you for those kind words, just had another nasty argument with my mum after having my hair cut so I’m feeling very rubbish at the moment. Think it’s hard for me to live my life because I’ve been compared to those who are “richer” and “better looking” and how I had it rubbed in my face. I will try and look after myself, it’s just hard knowing there are others who are having nicer lives than me and my mum always seems to get upset when something nice happens to me. When I do look after myself it feels nice but then I feel guilty afterwards due to what I’ve been told. It’s very complicated but thank you for supporting me im very grateful you think I should take care of myself.